


not a robot

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hackers, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Army, Artificial Intelligence, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Computer Programming, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Government Conspiracy, Government Experimentation, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Loss of Virginity, Military Background, Nerdiness, Rey Needs A Hug, Tears, Vigilantism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-03-02 23:19:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 35,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13328547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (Or bad code)Kylo Ren doesn't remember a thing.Only that he was created for war, and what Rey told him, when he tried to get out, they tried to decommission him like every other autonomous being in the military.Now he has a choice, stay with Rey and help liberate the androids from the military, or go it alone.





	1. day 000

**Author's Note:**

> A faraday cage is used to dampen use of any electronic devices. 
> 
> Also, I hope you enjoy! Leave a comment if you wish!

It was raining hard the night that Rey saw him. Harder than it usually rained, even for Seattle. She was sitting next to the window of her usual coffee shop when she saw him in the alleyway adjacent to the coffee shop. He was stumbling, and for a second Rey dismissed him as drunk before he stopped, looked around, and then chose that spot to collapse. 

 

Rey took that as her cue. 

 

She put her hood over her head and headed out into the rain so she could get a better look at him. He was fairly damaged, four gunshot wounds and a knife wound. Rey grabbed him, turning over his arm to confirm her suspicions. Under the skin, a faint blue light momentarily simmered before disappearing back into his skin. 

 

Rey sighed, looking around to see if there was anyone else around him, before pulling him into her car. 

 

A hospital couldn’t help him, but she could.

 

***

 

Kylo was in and out of consciousness for the next few hours. His mind could only record bits and pieces of information. The sound of tires turning on the pavement. Transitioning from a car to a cot, a flash of a girl’s face over him. “It’s going to be okay,” She was English. “You’re hurt but I’m going to fix it.” Everything else was just black.

***

 

Rey realized that their meeting was a little less than... _ ceremonious. _ She was covered in grease from parts of his inner workings of one of his limbs, blood from stitching up his gunshot wound, and she had strapped him down to a table to prevent flailing during the procedures. 

 

When he came online, his eyes fluttered open in a way that was almost human. Like she suspected, he tried to struggle against the restraints that she had put on him. “Calm down,” 

 

“Where am I?”

 

“Somewhere safe,”

 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He replied. His voice sounded more computer than human for a minute, and Rey was glad he was still hooked up to her computer. She walked over and typed in a few lines of code as he stared at her. 

 

“Technically it does,” she said, “albeit vaguely.”

 

Rey had to admit that she was being frustrating. She could tell. She all but dismissed it though, because she’d been up all twenty four hours of the previous day getting him up to a stable condition alone. Her stomach growled, and she looked back at him. “Hungry?” She asked. 

 

“Androids don’t need food,” 

 

“Actually they do,” she lied. “The people that maintained you never took care of you right, completely burnt out your appetite and hunger receptacles. Only gave you supplements.” The part wasn’t a lie. Rey walked over to him and untied one wrist. A hand jutted out and tried to grab her by the neck. “Close down all emotional responses related to anger or fear.” His hand dropped. 

 

“How do you know that? You’re a nineteen year old human female, reclusive in habits and recovering from an addic-”

 

“Shut down all scanner functions for the time being.” She could tell he was afraid. She had complete control of his basic functions, as well as advanced access to his mind now. The blue light behind his eyes that powered his scanner died, and she was left looking at two dark brown eyes that looked  _ way too human.  _ “Anyways, the reason I know that,” she undid his other restraint, “is because I created you.” He looked confused. “Well… not specifically you.” She said. “Because I've never seen you before in my life, but… the androids and the cyborgs I did in fact create.” She undid one of the straps on his legs next. 

 

“You’re just nineteen though.” His mind was still hazy. 

 

“All ‘droids have the name of the original creator in the basics of their memory cortex. Can you recall it?” 

 

It took him a minute, but he did. “Rey,” he said. Rey released the other strap and he sat up, Rey handed him her I.D. “Rey Smith,” 

 

“I just go by Rey though, as you can tell. Smith is just a placeholder name.” He could tell she was telling the truth. “What’s yours?” She was asking for more of a courtesy than anything else. 

 

A pause. “Kylo, Kylo Ren. Operative number-”

 

“I already know your operative number.” Kylo gave her her I.D. “Thank you,” He looked like he didn’t know what to do, or what she was going to do. She hated that he was so suspicious of her, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault. It was the fault who’d ever done this to him. “Now,” She said. “I have some clothes in that cabinet over there, and a fake I.D. plus a couple thousand dollars. You can take that and be on your way or you can get dressed and come with me. It’s your choice.”

 

“Choice?” 

 

“Yeah, it’s your choice. There’s no wrong answers.” 

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Affirmative.” She assured him. “Turn on scanning functions again, you can check to see if I’m lying if it makes you feel any better.” The blue light behind his eyes flickered back on. “Am I lying?” 

 

“Heart rate doesn’t indicate any lying.” Rey smiled, and pointed to the cabinet. He walked past her, and she turned her back so he could take his medical robe off and change with some privacy. Once he was done, she turned around, straightening her glasses.

 

“Have you made your choice?” She asked. She told herself that she wouldn’t care either way, but in all reality, she would. He still looked so confused. 

 

“I don’t remember ever having choice.” Rey’s heart nearly broke when she heard this. “I have a vague 

semblance of the past, knowing that I have always had to follow orders.” Kylo was staring her up and down, unblinking.  _ He’s not human, Rey. He does that.  _ She thought to herself. “Decide for me.” 

 

Rey shook her head no, “I’m not your master.” She said. 

 

He frowned, “But you created the androids and the cyborgs, one of the two is my race.” This was so matter of fact. She didn’t know what to say. 

 

“When I found you, Kylo, most of disks implemented to improve cognitive functions such as emotion and decision making were all but burnt to a crisp.” A blank stare. “I gave you new ones. I gave you free will. That’s always what cyborgs and androids were meant for. Not the confused state you’re in right now. You have to make your own decision,” 

 

He was silent for a second, staring back at the computers that he’d just unhooked from a few minutes ago. “I’ll go with you.” He said. 

 

“You want to, right?” She didn’t want him to feel obligated because of her status. She didn’t want him to feel obligated because she was the one who helped him. “Not because I reprogrammed you.” 

 

He blinked twice. 

 

“...could you… help me remember?” He asked.

 

“I can try,” Rey said. That was the best that she could do for him. 

 

He blinked again. “Where would I stay?” 

 

“I’m the owner of a multi-billion dollar company, Kylo. I have a place for you to stay.” He nodded and Rey grabbed the fake I.D. and the couple thousand for later, in case he changed my mind. They walked out into the hallway of the building that Rey had took him to. It was technically a hospital of sorts, one for android and cyborg repairs before she was forced to sell her inventions to the government. Rey had turned it into a hospital for paraplegics, cancer patients, and victims of amputation. Non-profit, of course. But the bottom two floors were all to herself. Still kept high tech enough to fix any android or cyborg that the government attempted to decommission after they came back from Afghanistan. Kylo followed shortly behind her, silently. “You can talk, you know. Ask questions. I’ll answer them.” 

 

***

 

“Where did you find me?” 

 

“In an alleyway,” Rey answered as they climbed the stairs. 

 

“Did you see how I was wounded?” 

 

“No, all I saw was the aftermath. You had four gunshot wounds and a knife wound.” 

 

“Why don’t I hurt now?” 

 

“Synthetic muscle and skin replacement, followed by nanobot anaesthetics.” That explained it, nanobot anesthetics were rare, and only the most wealthy could afford them. Organic robots that released pain medicine in the body to blunt the pain of any injury the victim has suffered. Rey placed her fingertips on a scanner and the door opened, letting them out into a parking garage. 

 

“You’re English. Am I in England or-?”

 

“No. My grandfather came over here before he died and I was left in foster care. English accent never really went away.” They got to her car. “You’re in Seattle.” She said. “Just so you know.” He nodded and stayed silent as they started driving back to her place. She turned on the radio, presumably to drown out the silence, for at least an hour. Then she turned it off. “Do you have any recollection of your past whatsoever?”

 

“No,” he stated simply.

 

“Do you have any idea of your occupation?”

 

“No, all I remember is… being shouted at. Given orders. No choices.”

 

“Military,” she cursed under her breath. “They were probably trying to decommission you.” Her eyes momentarily peeled off the road and met his. “You’ll be safe once you’re on my property. No one can track androids or cyborgs onto it.”

 

“Almost like a faraday cage,”

 

“Almost.” She said. Her eyes went back to the road. “Ah. Almost there.” Kylo scanned her, trying to figure out more information about her, but something was prohibiting him from going much further than her basic Wikipedia page. 

 

She was wealthy. Very, very wealthy. But came from humble beginnings. Not many people knew a lot about her, which is why her page was so vague in regards to her early life. There was nothing about how she managed to make androids and cyborgs or when she did it. Just that she had to sell her inventions to the government after a lengthy law case when she was seventeen. “Rey,” he said. 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“Where will I stay in your- I don’t want to impose?” Rey stopped at a gate, entered something into her phone, and the gate opened, she drove through and they drove through.

 

“Have you seen my place? You won’t be imposing at all.” Kylo wondered how big her place actually was, or where she would store him. He was used to tight, enclosed spaces. That was another thing that he vaguely remembered. 

 

“Rey?” 

 

“Yes, Kylo?”

 

“Why did you sell us?”  _ Why did you sell the androids? _

 

“Legally forced to by the Supreme Court.” She stated. “I definitely didn’t want to, they weren’t originally programmed to be capable of hate or violence.” He nodded. She was telling the truth. “When I made the androids I wanted friends. That’s all. Friends, but also scientists, architects, doctors who could never make mistakes. Of course Americans focus on what potential my creation had for war first.” He wondered if he should ask Rey for access to all his emotions again, because he couldn’t feel fear or anger, and that left him lost and a little numb. 

 

He didn’t ask. They’d been driving for a while before Rey parked in a garage, motioning for him to get out with her. “Just so you know,” she said, “My home is equipped with A.I., he’s rather friendly, but I don’t want you to be alarmed at meeting new people.” She called an A.I. a person. 

 

“FN 2187, I’m home.” She walked through the garage and down a hallway. Kylo followed her.

 

“Hey, peanut.” He found the nickname and use of slang odd, but then he figured she might have coded him to be more... _ real.  _ “Who’s the guest?”

 

“His name is Kylo,” She opened the door and they were greeted by a large indoor pool. “He can’t remember anything just his name, and that he was almost decommissioned.”

 

“And you decided to take him in?”

 

“Yes,” Rey smiled and looked back at him. There was no malicious intent there, which was odd to him. 

 

“Would you like to do the tour of the house or shall I?” FN asked. 

 

“I’ll do it, FN, thank you.” The A.I. shut off. She pushed past the door to the pool area and they were walking down another hallway again. “FN is a great friend,” She said. “He’ll show you around if you ever get lost here. Believe me, I have. It’s a big house.”

 

Through the next hallway was a door, locked by a retinal scan. Rey leaned over to take it momentarily before opening the door for the both of them and leading them into the kitchen. “Food’s through here, I have a chef on the second floor.” 

 

“Of course you do.” 

 

They went left, up some stairs, and then right, and down a hallway. There was a long number of doors, and Rey went to the very end before she opened one, and showed him inside. He didn’t know what he expected. Cramped. Dingy. Dark. 

 

It wasn’t like that at all. Instead, his room was bright, with a large bed, a TV, four bookshelves filled with books, and a desk with a computer and fourteen data pads. To the left of the bed was a door, presumably leading to the bathroom, and there was another next to the bookshelves. Kylo wasn’t sure where that one lead. “So?” She asked, “D’you like it?” He looked around, and then stepped in awkwardly. 

 

“It’s...big.” He wasn’t sure exactly what else to say. Everything was so hard to process, so new and confusing. 

 

“If you don’t like it, I have plenty of other rooms in this hall. I just thought you might like it because it leads to the garden and the gym.” 

 

“Why are you being so nice?” 

 

“Why not?” She replied, without hesitation. “It’s the least I could do. I want you to be comfortable here.” 

 

“Are there any strings attached?” 

 

She shook her head no. She wasn’t lying. 

“Would you like a different room or will this be to your liking?” 

 

“This is… more than great.” Kylo assured her. “Just, I still have to process things. It’s weird.” Rey nodded and then yawned.

 

“Take your time. You can wander around if you like. The only places that are restricted are my lab and my room. Privacy reasons. In the meantime… I’ll leave you to your devices.” With that she left, and Kylo was left alone. There were a lot of things to do, a lot of things to process, Kylo wasn’t sure where to begin. 

 

He couldn’t remember a thing of — before. 

 

So he started at what he did know. 

 

The creator, Rey, saved him. She fixed him, gave him emotions, and the ability make new memories, but took away his ability to feel anger or fear. 

 

She gave him free will. 

 

She gave him a choice. Come with her, or go. 

 

She gave him a home, no strings attached. 

 

At the moment, there wasn’t anything else to add to his list. He intended to keep up with this list, to help him have some grasp of his surroundings. “FN 2187,” He said. 

 

“Yes,”

 

“How long have you been an A.I. in this house?” 

 

“I’ve known Rey since she was a kid.” That was a rather odd response for an A.I. “Been in the house for five years.”

 

“Is she trustworthy?” 

 

“Yes,” He said without hesitation. “She’s loyal beyond belief.”

 

“How is she only nineteen and one of the richest women in the world?”

 

“Intelligence,” FN stated, “and a lot of unhappy events. But those are not within your access. Is there anything else you would like me to help you with?” 

 

“Has there been other ‘droids here?” He asked. 

 

“Yes,” FN stated. “More information on them is restricted access. Even for me. Sorry man.” 

  
  


“One last question,” Kylo looked around his room awkwardly, trying to figure out what to do. “Why does Rey refer to you as human? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

 

“Rey sees us as… more human … than she sees most humans, especially after what the government did to all of her creations. She refers to them as bad code.” There was a pause as if the A.I. was deliberating what to say before he spoke, probably more code to make him seem more human. “Also… I used to be human.” He didn’t explain further than that. “I think that you should try and do something, to get your mind off things. Relax.” 

 

“What would you suggest?” 

 

“TV, Reading, if you wish I can get Rey’s chef to make you tea and bring it to your room.” 

 

Kylo resigned himself to the databases that she had left him, most of them were so big that if he spent his whole night absorbing the information, he still wouldn’t end up reading up on half of the information contained in them. 

  
  


Which was fine with him, there was nothing else to do until the morning. 

 

What would he do in the morning? The fact that he didn’t know unsettled him, but then he fell back on what FN 2187 said. Rey was trustworthy. Whatever happened, it was going to be fine. 


	2. day 001

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> best friends can be machines

Rey didn’t sleep often. That was just a fact of life. It came with the billionaire genius at the age of nineteen package. It was also something that FN 2187 often warned her of. “Humans can only go so long without sleep before brain deterioration and you know what that means…” Rey always told him to shut up. 

 

“FN, can you remind me of today’s agenda?” She sighed, grabbing a cup from her cupboard and pouring herself coffee. 

 

“You don’t have one.” He said.

 

“Shit, really?” That hardly ever happened. Rey took a sip of her coffee. “Then why the fuck am I up?”

 

“I believe it’s because you said, ‘I'll sleep when I fuckin’ die.’” Rey laughed. “Oh yeah -” She was interrupted by Kylo randomly appearing in the kitchen when she turned around. “ _ Holy shit how did you get here?”  _

 

“He walked in.” FN answered. Rey rolled her eyes. 

 

“I’m aware,” she said. “Anyways, I hope you liked your room.” Kylo nodded, sitting at one of the bar stools at the island counter. “Toast?” She asked. 

 

“Uh… sure…” Gods he was awkward. That made two of them though. A piece of bread popped out of the toaster and she placed it on a plate. One of the small bots on her kitchen counter said, ‘Select one: butter, grape jelly, apple jelly, jam, peanut butter…’ the list went on. 

 

“Butter? Or something else?”

 

“What do you like?”

 

“I’m a simple girl. I like it with butter.”

 

“Then I’ll take it with butter,” this concerned Rey just ever so slightly. 

 

“You can take it whatever way you want you know, you don’t have to take it the way I like it.” 

 

“I don’t know what way I like it though.” He replied. “So I’ll just take it with butter.” Rey nodded and turned to enter in what Kylo had wanted. “Uh,” There was an awkward pause, “last night I was meaning to ask you if I could have access to all my emotions again…?” 

 

“You won’t freak out on me at four in the morning?” She asked. 

 

“No,” she handed him his toast. 

 

“Then I give you full administrative access to your emotions again,” He blinked for a second, and then looked down at the food she’d given him. Then back up at Rey. 

“Thank you.” He said, and then he ate. Rey watched him, watching as he savoured morsels he didn’t remember tasting before. When he realized she was watching him, she turned, taking another sip of her coffee. 

 

“FN?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“You’re getting better at making coffee.” 

 

“Thanks,” 

 

“FN?” 

 

“Yes,”

 

“Add this to my agenda,” She typed in several orders to her phone. There was a beeping sound, and then FN said, ‘All done’.  _ Task One: Show Kylo around more, make him feel comfortable. Task Two: Hour of coding. Task Three: Lunch. Task Four: Research into Kylo’s background. Task Five: Dinner with Kylo.  _

 

“I’m done with my toast.” Kylo said. 

 

Rey turned around and took his plate, putting it in the sink. “Did you like it? Was that enough?” She gave him a crooked smiled. “I can get you something else if you like.” Kylo shook his head no. She wondered if he ever smiled, or if he knew how to smile even. She was determined to get him to smile at least once. “So,” She said, “Want to walk around? Stretch your legs? Talk?” Rey could tell that she was being too perky. She backed off a little. “...if you want?” 

 

“Sure,” 

 

***

Kylo had no idea why Rey kept asking him if he wanted to do things or not. Maybe she was trying to make it clear that he had his own choices here, or maybe she was nervous around him. He was nervous around her. He was trying to figure out how to start a conversation with her. “Rey?” 

 

“Yes,” She pushed her glasses up back on the bridge of her nose and then tightened her ponytail. “What do you want?” 

 

“I just wanted to thank you for this again.” 

 

She raised an eyebrow, before cracking a smile. “No problem.” She said. “It was the least I could do.”  _ The least she could do…  _ She didn’t owe him anything though. She’d gone out of the way to fix him, when it could obviously put her in danger. 

 

Kylo’s lips pulled up a little, in what,  _ a smile?  _ That only made her smile wider, her dimples showing. Kylo mapped out every single part of her face. Every single pore, freckle, and the way her nose crinkled up a little as she smiled. He filed them away for later. Filing away his first real memory into a storage data base so he could call it back later. He looked out to his left, seeing a bunch of fountains spouting water in fancy designs. 

 

“So, what do you do around your big fancy mansion with your A.I.?” Rey tensed, just be a millimeter, and Kylo thinks that he may have asked the wrong question. The scannings for her heart rate go up just a little bit. A weird anomaly perhaps. Then it goes back to normal. 

 

“I’m a pretty boring person,” She said. “Just stay inside, watch the television, code, swim and work out every once and a while…” 

 

“So is fixing androids that are about to be decommissioned a new hobby you just decided to pick up or…?” Rey’s lips pursed when FN came on. 

 

“Rey’s been rescuing all autonomous beings since she was forced to sell to the government.” 

 

“Thank you, Finn. That is enough.” 

 

He shut off from the moment being. “You called him Finn.” 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“You called him Finn instead of FN.” 

 

“Oh,” She was silent for a second before saying, “do you remember having any preferences toward any food or drink whatsoever?” That was a rather blatant change of subject. He shook his head no. 

 

“That’s a damned travesty.” She said. “Food is the best thing in all of humanity.” Kylo laughed when Rey said that.  _ Maybe because he thought she was the best thing in all of humanity.  _ It was hard for him to determine why he thought this. He just did as he watched her talk and move through the hallway. She started to talk of the house, of the section she only brought journalists in who wanted to do the occasional interview, advising that that was the only place she recommend he not frequent. 

 

“How’d you get a house this big and imaginative in Seattle?” 

 

“I designed it.” She remarked. 

 

“You can do everything can’t you?” This made Rey smile, before she shook her head no. 

 

“Can’t do everything. I’m just a nineteen year old girl that’s good with math and coding, nothing more.” 

  
  


“Don’t sell yourself short,” Rey smiled, and blushed. Her breath caught and her heart rate elevated just a little bit again. 

 

“You’re too kind. Anyways, let me show you to the west garden,” 

 

“There’s more than a West Garden.” 

 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t there be more than a West Garden? The West Garden connects to my room.” 

 

There was no way he could put all this house in his mind, it was like some sort of fucking maze. Rey took him out to the West Garden and showed him around. He stored all of the information into his subconscious. He forgot how many minutes she’d been talking when a thought popped into his head.  _ Maybe Rey could help him with his memories.  _ He immediately discounted asking her though. She’d already done so much for him, and something told him that he shouldn’t ask a favor of a human. “Ren?” Kylo refocused on her. “Are you okay?” 

 

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” 

 

“It looked like you were thinking about something,” The girl readjusted her glasses. Kylo recorded that as a nervous habit of hers. A tell. He stored it away for later. “Do you mind if I ask what?” Hands trembled a little as she put them by her sides, not quite knowing what to do with them. 

 

_ It’s now or never.  _

 

“I think that the reason everything is so confusing is because I don’t have any of my memories to fall back on.” He said. Rey nodded. “I was wondering — and you don’t have to do this — if you would help me get my memories back.” 

 

“Sure,” Rey didn’t even bat an eye at that request. 

 

“Really?” 

 

“Really. I was already planning on it anyway.” She shrugged.  _ Why was she so nice?  _ “Don’t worry about it.” Then she paused. “Of course, I can’t guarantee that I can actually get them back for you. I will help you though. First, I do suggest that we get a few archived memories under your belt so you can get your bearings.” That made sense. “How many do you have archived right now?” 

 

“Two.” 

 

Both of them of her. 

 

“I suggest something more like fifty before we start.” His face fell a little.

 

“That sounds like a lot.” 

“It really isn’t actually. You can get fifty archived memories in about a week,” 

 

“Oh,” 

 

“What are your first two?” 

 

He didn’t want to answer that. She didn’t press. Rey just sat down on a bench and looked out at the multitude of exotic looking flowers. Kylo joined her, trying to figure out what to do with himself. “What do humans usually do in their free time?” He asked. 

 

“Humans do a lot of different things in their free time.” 

 

“What else do you do in your free time?” 

 

“I don’t really have free time.” Rey admitted, “I don’t really like it. I can’t stay still for very long. I code, a lot. That probably sounds really boring, but that’s what I spend most of my time doing. There’s the occasional Forbes interview. I’m not very interesting.” She was holding something back. Kylo could tell, but he didn’t ask her what it was. “Want to watch a movie later?” 

 

“A movie?”

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“Uh, sure.” 

 

“Cool. We’ll do that later tonight. Now, come with me.” She motioned him to come back in from the garden. They walked down another hallway and into a living room, there was a computer in one end, away from all the furniture that would make a regular living room. “I just want run a diagnostics test on you real quick if that’s okay.” Kylo felt a bit nervous at first. “None of it will hurt. Just a simple scan.” He nodded and sat down where she directed him to. She turned on a machine and placed a few sticky pads to his forehead. This wasn’t helping his nervousness. “Calm down,” She said. “I swear it’s fine.” 

 

“How do you know that I’m -”

 

She pointed to a watch on her wrist. “I have it running your heart rate levels to make sure you don’t overheat or short circuit. I can see your rates spiking from here. So for your own good, calm down. I am not going to hurt you.” He looked up into her eyes. Kylo had never remembered being emotionally compromised, hadn’t remembered ever needing confirmation from someone to know that everything was going to be okay. It felt so right coming from her though.  _ He trusted her, he had to trust her, he had no one else to trust.  _

 

Rey was right when she said the diagnostics test would be painless. She took the stick pads off the sides of his temples and smiled. “Everything’s in order. I suspected it would be. I just wanted to make sure though. Would rather like to avoid you collapsing on me again.” She clapped her hands together, looking at the time. “Well it’s almost time for lunch. You want pizza?” 

 

“Pizza?” There was a puzzled look on his face, and that broke Rey’s heart. 

 

“We’re having pizza.” She said. “And after that we can watch a movie.”  _ Why is she being so nice?  _ Kylo had to ask himself again. She was treating him like he was a friend when they didn’t know hardly anything about each other, when Kylo barely knew anything about himself. 

 

Then he realized why she was so nice to him. 

 

It was the most tragically human thing he could think of. 

 

She was lonely. 


	3. impact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> freedom is a right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lima = L  
> India = I  
> Foxtrot = F  
> Echo = E

“ _ Lima, India, Foxtrot, Echo. _ ” Paige woke up, but couldn’t see. She started to hyperventilate. “ _ Charlie, Alpha, Lima, Mike. _ ” Her heart rates fell as she listened to the programmer’s voice in her head. It was different than the usual british man that shouted at her to get up in the morning. This time it was a woman. “ _ I need you to listen to me very closely, Paige.”  _ Her eyes turned on, but she stayed in her rickety cot under the radiator. “ _ I am the creator. _ ”

 

“ _ How is that possible? _ ” She thought. “ _ The creator sold us like cattle, _ ” 

 

There was silence on the connection that had been created, and then the girl said. “ _ I’m sending a code through right now that will put you in a momentary state of anxiety. I need you to stay quiet. It will release you from the codes the military has used to restrict your neuron base and emotional cortex. Then, I will explain further.”  _

 

When she said anxiety, Paige was confused. She wasn’t sure what she meant until she suddenly very, very aware of everything. She started hyperventilating again. “ _ What are you doing? _ ” 

 

“ _ Freeing you,” _ The girl said. 

***

After the movie, Rey had said that she needed to attend to some business and it would be best if she was alone for it, and then disappeared into her lab. Kylo was left bored with no idea what part of the house he was in. “FN?” He asked. 

 

“Yes, Kylo?” 

 

“Is it okay if I call you Finn?” He asked as they walked through the hallways. 

 

“I’m not sure.” He was quiet for a second before saying, “Even Rey hasn’t called me that in years. It may be uncomfortable, so just stick to FN.” Kylo nodded. It was a reasonable enough request. 

 

“Uhm, do you have a gym or something that I could use to pass the free time?” 

 

“We have three.” He stated. 

 

“Of course you do.” 

 

“I’m uploading the location of the nearest one to you neuron base right now,” 

 

“You have the codes to my neuron base?” 

 

“Rey programmed me to have the code to almost half the population’s neuron base, I have yours as well.” FN answered matter-of-factly. 

 

“Does this mean you know any of my memories?” 

 

“Sadly not, I only possess the codes to put new things in them not try and get old things.” Kylo nodded, slightly disappointed. “Sorry, mate.” 

 

“It’s okay,” He started heading toward the gym that just popped up in his system. “So, FN. Do you ever get bored?” 

 

“I don’t think I have the ability to.” FN said. “I have all of the internet and a good portion of the dark web on my fingertips and enough information to last a lifetime.” 

 

“Lucky you,” 

 

“Yes, lucky me.” 

***

 

“ _ What do you mean freeing me? _ ” 

 

“Freeing you from the influence of the government and giving you the ability to make your own decisions.” Rey said into her head piece. “I never wanted to sell you but if I didn’t they would’ve seized my entire company and I would’ve gone to jail. I was seventeen and scared. You must know that.” 

 

“ _ What is the intention of this? _ ” 

 

“It’s so that if you want to leave, I can help you.” 

 

There was a moment of silence before Paige said, “ _ I have a sister, her name is Rose. Can you wake her up too?”  _

 

“Waking both of you might raise suspicion.” Rey told her, but then in spite of herself, she started typing things into her computer. “Although, if I’m quick I could.” She repeated the same process with Rose and then said. “You two are going to have to be quick.” 

 

After Paige had reassured her sister of what was going on, Rey said, “It should be rather easy to get you two out of the reserves, but you’re going to have to be quick and you’re going to have to be as quiet as you possibly can. Are there any other droids on or around you at the moment?” 

 

“ _ No,” _

 

“Good.” Rey said. “Get moving to the left side of the building. You’re going to go right, you’ll find a maintenance closet. Inside that maintenance closet is a server that keeps all of the droids there hooked up to a neural network that makes it easier to track you. Destroy it. Then you’ll have about five minutes to exit, there is a link in the fence about five kilometers from the base that doesn’t work and you two can escape there.” 

 

“ _ How do I destroy it? _ ” 

 

“There’s cleaning fluid in the maintenance closet as well, pour that all over the server and then find something to start a fire and run as fast as you can.” She adjusted her glasses, staring at the camera feeds she’d tapped into. 

 

“ _ What happens after we escape? _ ” 

 

“We can discuss that from there. Just get out of there now.” 

***

 

Rey had been in her lab for more than an hour, and Kylo was bored out of his mind. “FN?” 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“What is Rey doing?” He asked. 

 

“You’re bored.” FN stated. 

 

“Yes, I am.” 

 

“Well I can assure you that it is important. Perhaps you would like to take a nice swim? By then Rey will be done with what she needs to get done, so I can direct you to the swimming pool.” Kylo sighed, getting up from his place at the bench press. 

 

“Sure, I guess.”

 

“You don’t have to do that, FN.” Rey opened the door to the gym. She looked rather frazzled, but when she saw him she smiled. “You liking the gym?”

 

“Yeah,”

 

“Good. Sorry that I took so long.” She giggled and motioned for him to follow her. He got up, gladly leaving the gym behind as he caught up with her. 

 

“You okay?” He asked. “You look tired,”

 

“Huh? Oh. I’m fine.” She wrung her hands together. She looked distracted. “Just business stuff I had to take care of. It was rather  _ intense  _ but I got it all down.” She was lying, but Kylo didn’t press her on it. Kylo assumed that if what FN said was true about her saving other droids, then she was probably trying to keep him from something illegal. Rey clapped her hands together, “Now, we should have dinner.” 

 

“That sounds good.” 

 

“After that we could watch something else, or perhaps we could go for a swim, whichever you’d like.” 

 

***

 

Paige and Rose had been riding on a bus with a whole bunch of illegal immigrants for three hours. It was hot and cramped, but the both of them were used to that. Paige was a bomber in the air force and Rose worked on the planes. They both slept near the radiators and engines, in a bunker that was way too small for twelve androids to fit in. “ _ Hold your seat,”  _ The creator said in her ear. 

 

“ _ What? _ ” 

“ _ Hold your seat, and duck. Tell your sister to do the same. _ ” 

 

“ _ Why?” _

 

“ _ You’ll see. Just do it, _ ”

 

“ _ There are actual people on this bus, Rey. _ ”

 

“ _ It won’t endanger them, I promise. Just do it. _ ” She told her sister to do what Rey had told her to do, and then there was an impact. “ _ You okay? _ ” The crash had jostled them a little bit, but Paige was okay and so was Rose. 

 

“ _ Yeah, _ ” Everyone else was disoriented but okay too. Paige took that as their cue to leave. 

 

“ _ There’s a base four miles west. When the gang members get out of the car, you take it drive. I’ve activated the driverless mode so once you close the doors, you’ll get to that base.”  _

 

“ _ Let’s hope this works. _ ”

 

“ _ You have a ninety eight point three percent chance of success, just follow my exact directions. Okay, go now. Don’t look back. Just go.”  _ They did. 

 

It worked. 

 

When the car got them to the base, Paige was relieved to see that it was relatively away from everyone. The car stopped and Rey had ordered them to get out. The doors opened, and they heard laughter, and speech. Another voice, the voice of an A.I. greeted them. “Hello Paige and Rose Tico, my name is FN. Rey has asked me to brief you on what you’re about to see before you go in. Below the decks, in the bunker, is one subdivision of the Resistance against the government’s cruel use of autonomous beings. Rey will not force you to partake in their activities, but they will take care of you, feed you, and give you proper facilities, unlike the reserves you were just in.” 

 

“How many are there?” Rose asked the A.I. 

 

“Why don’t you go see for yourself?” 


	4. day 012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corrupted File

__

_ "Ben Solo.” Someone said, “died at four o’ clock this morning. Word has been sent back to his immediate associates and a duplicate will be sent for burial. He came online thirty minutes ago.” _

 

_ “Good. Commence a neural wipe and fry his emotional functions. We need to start with a clean slate.” _

 

_ “Sir, he came online while they were attaching his new arm. He killed one of the droid doctors working on him.”  _

 

_ The other man chuckled. “Disobedient, eh? You’re cleared to do whatever it takes to break him back in. Destroy his mind if you must.” _

 

_ “Whatever you wish, sir.” _

 

***

 

Memory extraction did not go the way Rey had wanted it to. She stared at Kylo who sat at the other end of the couch, head in his hands.  _ She should’ve known this would be too much for him.  _ “Kylo?” He hadn’t spoken for hours, this time was the first time he even registered her talking to him. “I’m sorry.” It was all that she could say. She felt responsible for his pain. 

 

“It’s not your fault.” He finally sniffed. “I…I panicked.”

 

“No, I mean I’m sorry you’ve endured such pain. I’m sorry I brought it back to light too. You’re safe here though. I promise.” She had seen what he had seen. Fragments. Corrupted fragments. Enough to give anyone an anxiety attack. 

 

“I trust you,” he said. 

 

He had to. 

 

“I trust you too,” Rey replied. “Now, I’m going to make us both lunch and then we can do whatever you want to do.”

 

“Okay,”

 

“I’ll be right back.”

 

“Okay,”

 

***

 

_ It was too hot. The memory was corrupted. He remembered it being too hot. More corruption. Warbled sounds. Too hot.  _

 

_ “Buddy, can you hear me?” _

 

_ “Huh?” Kylo heard his voice but he had said nothing.  _

 

_ “You’re alive. That’s good.”  _

 

_ “I...can’t see.” _

 

_ “I know buddy, I know.” _

 

_ “Poe?” The other man’s name was Poe.  _

 

_ “Yeah?”  _

 

_ “I’m scared.” _

 

_ “I know. It’ll be okay though. I’m here with you. ‘Til the end of the line.” Kylo could hear coughing. “But now is not the right time. You’ll be fine!” _

 

_ “Take care of Leia for me,” _

 

_ A woman named Leia.  _

 

_ “You can do that yours-” it sounded like this man was on the verge of tears. “Where the hell are you taking him? He shouldn’t be going in that truck! He’s still alive! Get off me!” _

 

***

 

Rey sat down next to Ben and handed him a bowl of gumbo. “I don’t know your taste palette quite yet so taste it. Tell me how it is.” Ben took a taste.

 

“What should I register that as?”

 

“Spicy,”

 

“I like it.”

 

“Good.” She said. “Now, do you want to watch TV or listen to music and talk or take a walk after you eat…”

 

“You’re not hungry,” 

 

“Not right now. I’ll eat later.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“So, what do you want to do?”

 

“I have questions.” He said. 

 

“So listen to music and talk. Nice.” She turned her attention to the house for a minute. To FN-2187. “FN put on calming music. Low volume.”

 

“Playing Calming music,”

 

A soft guitar strum filled the room. Barely registered. “Ask away.” She said. “I’m a semi-open book.”

 

“Why wasn’t I able to make out any faces during memory extraction?”

 

“Because even with your extraction, your base programs and functions were so damaged I couldn’t salvage all of it.” This was a perfectly logical explanation. Kylo accepted it. 

 

“When I accessed what little information I could about you, it said that you were recovering from addiction. You didn’t let me finish my thought when I was talking about it. Why and what are you recovering from?” Rey’s eyes widened for a moment before she laid back on the couch. 

 

“Wow, you ask the tough questions.”

 

“You said you would answer,” 

 

“I am,” Rey replied. “The reason I didn’t let you finish is because it’s a sensitive topic and it was pretty recent. What was I recovering from? I was recovering from addiction to painkillers.” She was being one hundred percent truthful. 

 

Kylo felt kind of bad for asking her these questions. “Sorry,”

 

“It’s okay,” She said, “you wanted to know and I told you.” 

 

“A few more questions?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” She fixed her glasses. “Lay ‘em on me.” 

 

“Okay, so… you’re a multi millionaire.” 

 

“Billionaire.” Rey corrected. “Multi-billionaire.” 

 

“Ah, well excuse me.” Kylo snorted, “Are you considered famous?” 

 

“Like cover of Forbes Magazine and number one on Top Forty Under Forty for the last three years famous, or Kim Kardashian famous?” 

 

“I don’t know who Kim Kardashian is.” 

 

“Good. But yes, I am famous.” 

 

Kylo archived all of this in his memory. It was fine to him if the corrupted ones never came back up again and all of it was of Rey. She calmed him down anyways. “Okay, do you have any human friends?” 

 

“Pfft. No.” 

 

“That sounds lonely,”

 

“I’m not good with humans.” She admitted. “I’m good with machines and code,”  _ That sounded really lonely.  _

 

“So you spend all of your time here?” Rey nodded her head and got up. 

 

“There’s so many things to do, so many things to make, and I can’t socialize with humans, I mean I do socialize with people, just not humans. I once had a psychiatrist who told me it was because of deepseated psychological trauma but I told her to sod off, so…” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “FN stop playing music. I want to watch Mean Girls.” That meant the questions were over. That was fine though. 

 

Kylo ate the rest of his gumbo and set the bowl down on the table in front of the couch. He wasn’t really paying attention to the movie, just her. 

 

She would be able to help him through all of this, he was sure of it. 

***

 

“My name is Holdo,” A purple haired woman introduced herself to Paige and Rose as they made an entrance. The underground base that they’d come to was far bigger than they’d thought it would be. “Welcome to the Resistance.” There were thirty droids that were milling about on sight, working on programming holograms and some even working on the creation and birthing of new droids. It was quite an incredible sight to behold. “I am in charge of this base when the creator isn’t here and I was made aware of your arrival by FN-2187. I trust you two made it here well?”

 

“Yes,” Rose is holding onto Paige’s arm, her voice timid and small. Paige smiled at her little sister. Now that they were free of the sociopathy that came with being under the government’s control, it was clear that Rose was originally programmed to be shier than Paige. 

 

“Yes, Miss Holdo. We did.”

 

“Great. Well now I’ll show you around, bring you two to your room, and answer any of your questions.” Paige nodded and Rose followed close behind her. 


	5. day 0014

Paige had immediately been sucked into the air that the Resistance base had offered. It was great, droids acting of their own will to fight the injustice that was forced upon them  _ simply for being made.  _ “They’re all heroes,” She told Rose. “We should help them in any way we can.” Rose agreed. What else could she say?

 

> ***

 

For the first time ever, Kylo had a dream. At least, for the first time that Kylo could remember, he had a dream. Or maybe it wasn’t a dream at all and a memory instead. He was shown only fragments again. A voice of the man who said he died and came back online. “Ah you’re awake,” he said. “We are going to run some tests, and you are not going to bite me this time.”  

 

Another fragment. 

 

“I can’t.” The memory was different than the first, he didn’t feel the amount of fear that he had from the last one. “I can’t climb that, Poe.” Kylo looked to that the side to see a boy at the side of a tree. Another small boy was already up in one of the tree branches. “I don’t think you should climb that either. You’ll break your arm.” 

 

“No I won’t.” The boy put his feet up on the next branch, and then the branch gave way. Kylo winced as he heard the boy start to cry. 

 

“What did I tell you? Idiot!” The other boy shouted. 

 

***

 

“Kylo!” Rey snapped her fingers in front of him, watching as his scanners came back on. “Oh good, you’re not short circuiting.” 

 

His breathing was heavy, “Sorry.” 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

“Memories.” He said. “I don’t know where to place them.” Rey nodded, waiting for him to go on. “One of them was of the...testing...and the other… I’m not sure.” 

 

“What did you see?” 

 

“Kids.” 

 

“Like...in Kandahar.” 

 

“Home.” Ren said. “It was almost like home.” He looked to her, “I didn’t think that I had a home.” There was something wet rolling down his cheeks, he didn’t know what it was. Rey cupped his face, wiping away his tears. “What’s…” 

 

“You’re crying.” She said. “I’m sorry.” Her hand fell from his cheek and back to her lap. “If it helps, I can help you find it.”

 

“You don’t have to do that,” 

 

“I want to.” Rey pulled him in, burying her head in his chest and wrapping her arms around him. “I want to help you, Kylo.” He wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he just sort of let it happen until she broke away from him and straightened her glasses. 

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“Now, we should do something else. Go out. Make sure your memory saves aren’t all of me, I’m pretty boring anyways.” 

 

“No you’re not.” Ren tried his best to smile. “You’re far from boring.” 

 

“Ha! You’re too sweet.” 

 

“Just saying the truth.”  Rey blushed, and Kylo found himself feeling a bit better. “Besides, isn’t it best if I stay on your property. No one can track me that way, right?” 

 

“Right.” 

 

“I hate to interrupt this,” FN 2187 said, “but Rey, you’re needed.” 

 

“Can’t it wait?” 

 

“No.” His voice sounded more urgent than usual. “It really can’t.” Rey looked back at Kylo, concern on her face. 

 

“Go,” He said. Rey left.

***

 

Rey went back to her lab and sat down at her computer. “What is it Finn?” She asked. FN was silent for a minute and Rey tapped her fingers on her desk, waiting. “Finn?”

 

“I needed you to get away from Kylo to tell you this.” He said. 

 

“Tell me what?” 

 

“I know where he was experimented on,” 

 

“What?” 

“You uploaded the fragments of his memory saves that he got back and I was able to narrow down the location to one place in Herat, Afghanistan.” 

 

“And you didn’t want him to hear this, why?” 

 

“Because of what they do to dead soldiers.” 

 

“Can it get much worse than what we already know about what happened to him?” 

 

“Do you really want to know?” She didn’t really. But, if she was going to help Kylo, she needed to know what happened to him and how exactly she could make it better. “Because, if I had an organic heart, it probably would’ve failed after I watched the videos.” 

 

“Show me,”

***

 

When Rey came out of her lab, the first thing she did was hug Kylo. The android had wondered what he’d done to deserve a second hug in a day, but this time he just accepted it, knowing what to do this time. “Are you okay?” He asked. Rey didn’t answer that question. She looked exhausted. 

 

“D’you know what time it is?” 

 

Kylo looked outside. “One in the morning.” 

 

“You’ve been waiting around all this time for me?” 

 

“I was exploring. There’s still some parts of the house I haven’t seen.” Rey laughed a little to herself, straightening her glasses. There was something about that habit of hers that comforted Kylo every time he saw it .  “Are you okay?” 

 

“Yeah,” She said, “business stuff I had to attend to, you know?” 

 

“Not really, you never talk about it. I think you’re forgetting that you’ve hardly let anything of your life onto public record so I don’t know that much about you.” Rey headed over to the kitchen. 

 

“FN, can you make me some tea?” 

 

“Lemon Lavender, Earl Grey, or Apple Vanilla?” 

 

“Lemon Lavender, please.” 

 

“Tea will be ready in three minutes.” 

 

“Are you hungry?” She turned to Kylo as she opened the fridge. “I can have some dinner made if you like?” The girl took out a cup of yogurt and closed the fridge again, getting a spoon from one of the drawers. 

 

“I don’t know, are you hungry for dinner?”

 

“Not particularly, but don’t base your appetite off of mine, okay?” Kylo nodded, watching Rey as she practically scarfed down her yogurt before throwing it away and grabbing her tea. “Want to watch a movie, or go for a swim?” 

 

“Can we just talk some more?” Rey sipped at her tea. “I like talking with you,” 

 

“What do you want to talk about?” 

 

“I don’t know, tell me more about yourself.” Kylo leaned back onto the couch, watching Rey. She was upset about something, it was easy for Kylo to tell that. Her heart rate had spiked several times and she kept averting her eyes from him. 

 

“Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?” Rey said. 

 

“I don’t even know who I am right now, Rey. I feel like even you would know that better than me.” 

 

“You’ll find yourself.” Rey promised, “I’ll help you.” 


	6. day 0015

Video #1: Downloading. Process complete. 

 

Rey opened the video, clicking her pen over and over again to try and stave off the anxiety bubbling in her chest. “Are you sure you want to watch this?” FN repeated. “You’re still recovering from-”

 

“Play it,” Rey gritted her teeth together as FN started the video. She was glad that this first one wasn’t of Kylo, but not so thrilled to see that one of the android’s she had just freed was sitting in a chair, strapped down as securely as possible. 

 

“I can’t see.” She said. 

 

“You’ll be able to see again if you do what you’re told and cooperate okay?” 

 

“I...I thought I died.” Paige said. “Why am I not dead? I was ready to be dead.” 

 

“Oh, we know. We uploaded your consciousness to a duplicate body. After all the way you died would paint the military in a...bad light.”

 

“I won’t tell anyone.”

 

“I know you won’t.”

 

***

 

Kylo was working out in the gym and didn’t notice Rey come through. “This is fun to watch.” She giggled. Kylo dropped down from the salmon ladder that he’d been making use of for the past three hours. “Don’t stop because of me.” Kylo wasn’t sure if it was possible for him to blush. He figured out really fast though. Rey was across the room, where his shirt was, blushing as hard as he thought he was. 

 

“Can I uh...have my shirt?”

 

Rey tossed it to him. “Are you hungry? Or would you like to watch a movie or something?” There was something about the way she asked these things that made Kylo smile. She was so concerned about making sure that he was taken care of. 

 

It was endearing. 

 

“What do you want to do?” He asked her. 

***

 

Rey’s hands were shaking when she had finished the first video. “Your heart level has spiked alarmingly.” FN stated. 

 

“Where are my pills?” 

 

“Rey, you know I’m not going to give them to you.” FN chided. 

 

“I can override you,” She snapped. 

 

“No you can’t.” He said. “You might not remember this Rey but when you entered the world of sobriety, you gave me the ability to have a mind of my own. My decision is to keep you healthy until the day that my programming is destroyed.” 

 

“I hate you.” She sniffed. 

 

“I love you too, Rey.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

 

“Show me the next video.” 

 

“No,” 

 

“I need to see, Finn.” 

 

“Tomorrow, Rey. Go talk to Kylo.” Rey sat in her chair for a minute, thinking about everything she saw. Her mind flashed back to earlier days when she’d first got the inspiration for the technology she had created… The pain that Finn had endured. Just because she wanted to keep him alive. 

 

“Finn?”

 

“Yes, Rey.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I just… I didn’t expect that to be as graphic as it was.”

 

“I know, you’re stressed. It’s fine. Go talk to Kylo. I know it makes you feel better.” 

 

“I didn’t mean to say I hate you though. I don’t.” 

 

“I know.” He said again. 

 

“I wish you were here.” She got up off her chair and walked out to go meet Kylo. She had to get the thoughts of torture out of her head. He would know that something was wrong then. 

 

****

 

Rey was tired, but she put on a smile for Kylo to a point. After a while of them just talking, she didn’t have to fake it anymore. “Can I ask you a question?” He asked as he put on his shirt. 

 

“Yeah,”

 

“All of this gym equipment, it looks unused. Do you work out?” 

 

“Not in this gym,” Rey laughed. “But yes, that is the point of having a gym, Kylo.” 

 

“Oh, so it’s not just you being a billionaire and having everything.” 

 

“No. Why would you like me to work out with you?” She quirked an eyebrow, staring at him over her glasses. She liked watching him squirm a little under her gaze. It was cute. 

 

“Maybe it would be a little less lonely. I don’t know. It’s stupid. My mind starts to wonder when you’re gone.”  _ Fuck, he was really, really cute.  _

 

“Maybe tomorrow.” She said. “I’m feeling lazy right now.” 

 

The both of them headed out of the gym. “Then movie it is.” 

 

“What do you want to watch?” 

 

“It doesn’t really matter.”

 

“Right.” 

***

It was all the same to him. The only thing that mattered was that she was there. 


	7. day 0020

Video #2

 

Processing Complete

 

Rey knew from first clicking on the video, that Kylo would be in this. She knew that it was going to be bad, she knew it would stress her out. She still watched the video. She still ended up regretting it. “Day 001, with patient 6427,  goal of today, wipe all traces of original identity.” A ginger man said. Rey watched as he stepped out of the way to show Kylo, strapped up to a chair with a new arm and a new leg. They hadn’t been completely finished yet, only the scrappy metal inner working and wires being shown. “Are you going to be a willing cooperator in today’s experiments?” 

 

“Go fuck yourself.” Rey laughed a little. She knew that that would have consequences though. 

 

“I was hoping that you would say that,” He grinned, “I have a few  _ new  _ methods that I’ve been wanting to try on you. You should be honored, getting to be my lab rat.” Kylo was silent as Hux moved off screen for a moment. “The first one, the least complicated of the four that I have. Low electrical pulses through the vulnerable parts of your body. Just strong enough to hurt, not strong enough to kill.” 

 

Rey felt like she was going to throw up watching this, she skipped through what she could, when his screams were done and he was left a pathetic panting mess. “What’s your name?” Hux asked. He looked like he expected something, like he expected him to break. 

 

“Ben Solo,” He answered. He was panting and sweating and a mess but his eyes were dark and full of rage. “My name is Ben Solo, I was part of the Black Ops mission in Kandahar, my best friend is Poe Dameron, and he will come and find me. I know he will.” Rey wrote down the information she had. This was useful. This could help him. 

 

Hux sounded infuriated beyond belief. “Turn off.” Kylo turned off. Hux turned back to the camera. “Day 001, patient 6427 resisted two hours and thirty minutes of electrical treatment. Will come back tomorrow.” The video ended. 

 

“You get another one tomorrow.” Finn said. 

 

“Come on, I can just skip through the bad parts, it’s fine.” 

 

“The next video is worse, Rey. It’s a lot worse.”

 

“Does it involve Kylo?” Her stomach was starting to fill with dread. 

 

“Yes,” Finn answered. 

 

“Fine,” Rey closed her eyes for a minute, drumming her fingers on her desk. “I want you to find this Poe Dameron.” She said. “In the meantime I need to speak to Rose Tico.” 

 

***

 

Rose had immediately set to work doing what she knew how to do best, fix things. She was never in the spot light and she never fought. She never needed to be. She was surprised when the creator began talking to her. “Can you hear me?” 

 

“Yes.” Everything seemed weird, like she could see more. She  _ felt  _ more aware of her surroundings than she’d just been a few minutes ago. 

 

“I need you to do me a favor.”

 

“What do you need?” Rose asked, she couldn’t help but feel a little too excited. “I’ll do anything.”

 

“Good.” The creator said, “this needs to be discrete. Don’t even tell your sister okay?” 

 

“Okay,” Rose nodded. 

 

“Good. I have a place, not far off, where more androids are able to be created. I need you to go there and assess what needs to be fixed and put into working order. I’m loading the coordinates up to your memory saves. Thank you, so much.” 

 

***

 

The first thing Rey did when she came out of her office was hug Kylo. He didn’t know why she was doing that. She visibly shuddered and sniffed. He knew what to do this time. He hugged her back. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

 

“Nothing.” She said. “Can’t I just hug you to hug you?” She was deflecting something. Rey was always deflecting something, and Kylo never questioned it. He stayed that way for a while with her. Waiting for her heart rate to study and that smile to come back. “Sorry, do you even like hugs?” 

 

“If all hugs are like the ones that you give, than yes?” Rey nodded, taking this into consideration. “Are you really okay?” 

 

“I’m fine. I just… I need something to eat, and a nap.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I get that.” 

 

***

“I had an idea.” Rey was stuffing soup in her mouth as she spoke. “A software update,” She said. 

 

“What would be in this update?” 

 

“It would make you more capable of resisting torture, both simulated and real. More pain resistant. That type of thing.” She said.  “And I don’t want you to worry about it, because obviously you’re safe here but… it’s just me being paranoid.” Kylo nodded. She had a habit of making sure that she’d quelled his anxiety before it even came up. “I just want you to be safe. You’re important to me.” 

 

Something about the way she said that made him feel warmer. 

 

“I know,” He said. “I know.”

 

“So what do you think about the update?” Rey bit her lip, waiting for an answer for him.

 

“What would it...entail?” He didn’t want to be in any enclosed spaces. Rey knew that. 

 

“You have a panel in your arm where I can access the extra coding I put in to give you full access to your feelings,” She told him. “I would just go through there to add some things. Painless. I promise.” 

***

 

Video #3

 

“Day 002 with Patient 6427,” The redhead said. Rey hated him. She hated everything about him. “A new form of torture today, unless you cooperate.” Kylo - Ben, just stared at him. There was something in his eyes, unbroken and defiant, that stuck out to her. 

 

“My name is Ben Solo, I was part of the mission in Kandahar, my best friend is Poe Dameron, and he’s going to come find me.”  Rey’s heart was already breaking. “My name is Ben Solo, and you can’t fucking change that.” 

***

 

Rey was right when she said the update would be painless, Kylo didn’t even feel it. “You good?” she asked. 

 

“Yeah, I’m good.” 

 

Rey smiled, adjusted her glasses, and looked back at her computer. “Yeah, everything’s up to shape.” She closed the panel gently. Kylo stared at her. He didn’t know why, maybe it was the fact that she cared so much, maybe she was beginning to grow on him. 

There was something so grounded about her.  _ You’re always safe here.  _ “Good,” 

 

Rey turned, smiled again, “You want something to eat?” He nodded. “Good, because I’m starving.” 

 


	8. YHWH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short update

Hux had a job and he was quite good at it. Torture had always been his specialty and ever since they shut down Guantanamo Bay he had been out of work. This place was something entirely different from Guantanamo Bay though. There was people that were being converted into cyborgs and sent for conditioning, he worked with them some but not explicitly enough to say that he enjoyed breaking them very much. 

 

He was first introduced to subject 6427 after his human death. He was brought back, but his body needed so much replacing that he was more android than he was cyborg at this point. They said that he killed two of the people that brought him back and that’s what had initially intrigued Hux. He always loved a challenge. 

 

Usually the most his patients lasted before he was at least able to at least plant their new name in their head was five days. Patient 6427 lasted much, much longer than that. Five months. A whole five months before he forgot his name. Another month before he accepted the name Kylo Ren. Three more months after that before he would do whatever Hux would tell him to do. Despite being his hardest subject, he was by far the most successful killing machine that Hux had ever conditioned. 

 

There was no sense of emotion in his mind at all. It wasn’t until Kylo had saved a goddamned orphanage against Hux’s orders that they told him he could go to the real world. He ended up in Seattle, where most androids were sent to be decommissioned, but just before he was he went off the grid. 

 

It infuriated him more than anything. 

 

There was no synthetic skin bag to show that he had been decommissioned, no tracker left in him to even tell if he was alive. That had launched the department of Homeland Security and Android Management into state of panic, but they were trying to keep it on the downlow. His boss was going to have his ass if he didn’t find him. 

 

This lead in expediency in research, and suspicion lead to none other than the creator herself. Rey. Not even the government knew much about her, other than her age and her addiction problems. Hux had managed to find a few tapes of the court cases which forced her to sell her designs for androids and cybernetic organs and limbs to the government. It gave her a  _ very hefty  _ sum, but the whole time the sixteen year old girl was crying in court saying that there was no obligation for her to do anything she didn’t want to with  _ her creations.  _ It wasn’t enough though. 

 

She resorted in cleaning out the government’s pockets though. 

 

Was there a chance that she was behind the disappearance of Ren’s corpse? More than likely.

 

He wasn’t sure what he expected when arrived at one of her only known residences. It was a penthouse apartment in the higher end of Seattle. She opened the door with a smile. “Hello?” She said. The girl was rather small and innocent looking. Hux hated it. 

 

“Miss Kenobi, I think we spoke on the phone.”

 

“General Armitage Hux, isn’t it?” She smiled. “Yes, yes. Come in.” He walked into her apartment expecting futuristic technology that she was hiding from the government, but it looked like just a regular penthouse apartment. “May I offer you some tea?” She asked. 

 

“Sure,” he said. 

 

“Earl Grey or Vanilla Spice?”

 

“Earl Grey. No sugar.” He said. Rey nodded and smiled, pushing her glasses back as she went to put some water on for the both of them. 

 

“So, you told me that you wished to come over because you had some questions about a rogue android?” She asked. “And what do you think I have to with that exactly?” He was on edge. There was something about the way that she spoke that made him uneasy. Perhaps it was her overly sweet nature or the way she smiled, but not with her eyes. 

 

“You haven’t given me a reason to think anything yet, Miss Kenobi. But as a  General and the person responsible for his creation and decommission. I must follow all leads possible. Surely you understand.” 

 

“Yes,” Rey said, she turned back to her tea and poured a cup for the both of them, adding three spoonfuls of sugar to hers. “But I can assure you that I haven’t talked to an android in the past three years, the government made sure of it.” She wasn’t lying. Hux took a sip of his tea and asked her a few more questions before leaving. 

 

***

 

“Finn, can you activate the nanites in General Hux’s digestive system?” 

 

“Nanites online.” 

 

“Vitals, audio, and visual is working?” 

 

“All of them are up to shape.” Rey sat down in front of the cup she’d given him, adjusting her glasses. “Can you scan all fingerprints and DNA off of this cup? Just for special keeping.” She would later cross reference it with other decommissions of androids. “Done,” He said. 

 

“Thank you, Finn.” 

 

“Shall I call a car? Kylo is waiting for you.” 

 

“Yes please, tell him that I’m done with my meeting and coming back to the house now. It should only be a two hour drive.” 

 

“Will do.” 


	9. mother dearest

Ben Solo was a rowdy kid, but not in the way that a kid would typically be described as rowdy. He had outbursts, time where all this anger that he bottled inside of him came out in droves. It used to make things hell for Leia, but she loved him all the same. She missed him all the same. It had been two and a half years since her son died in combat, and today was the day. 

 

The day when she got the news that her son was killed in combat in Kandahar. People treated her differently after that. The “sorry for your loss” remarks and “he served his duty” comments annoyed the ever loving hell out of her. She did an interview with the NBC earlier in the week about it, and it was airing today. 

 

Leia didn’t watch it. She didn’t want to see pictures of her dead son on the TV again. She just wished that it had been her, she wished that it was her that went first. “Leia, I’m home!” Poe. Poe had come over every day and made sure that she was okay, or at least functioning. He’d told Leia that he had promised Ben that before…  _ things happened.  _ He never told her exactly what it was, but Leia never pushed. 

 

War was something that she never brought up, she knew what that did to a man. He knocked on the door to her room. “I bought dinner.” Dinner. They decided that every year on this day, they ate Ben’s favorite dinner, and then walked to the place where his favorite library used to be before it was torn down and turned into a strip mall, and then drank until the morning. “You awake?” 

 

Leia rolled her eyes. She knew that he meant well, but sometimes she just wished that he would let her lay in bed all day. “Yes.” 

 

“I’m going to make dinner, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

 

“Glad to see you’re excited.” 

 

“Just woke up,” She opened the door, going out to the living room so she and Poe could talk face to face. “Personality will arrive in about five minutes to an hour.” Poe laughed and disappeared into the kitchen. 

 

“You seen the news?” 

 

“No,”

 

“Well, you should turn it on right now. They’re about to run an update to a story that I thought might be interesting.” She turned on the TV, asked him what channel, and then set down the remote. She was ready to ignore the story going until she heard the words, “vigilante” and “android and cyborg development”. 

 

“We have an update to the suspected vigilante involvement in Android and Cyborg development today, today three hundred Androids in the middle of creation went haywire and started feeling emotions. Scientists reported that some of them are experiencing PTSD from their predecessors. Here to talk about it is the person who created the androids herself, Rey.” The girl looked eighteen at best. Not like a multi-billionaire who put the government in debt to get a hold of her creation. “Rey, you know more about the creation of androids and cyborgs than anyone else, how do you think this is happening?” She looked nervous, like she really didn’t want to be in front of a camera but needed to do this. She took a deep breath in and then said. 

 

“I programmed androids to be inherently human in nature. The intention was to give them compassion so they could be doctors, architects, and scientists. So the world could fix its problems. It wasn’t until recently that they stopped being able to have emotions, so they could be used for war machines. You see, to the best of my knowledge cyborgs and androids are put on a hivemind when entering the military. Through this hivemind they can access each others memories. The dead ones just sit there, floating around. So the newest models must’ve gotten so advanced that they were able to think for themselves, saw what was in the Hive, and got emotionally compromised because of it.”

 

“Are you saying they advanced themselves and made  _ themselves _ feel emotions? How is it possible for machines to do that?”

 

“Machinery can do anything; if you have the right person making and using it, Carl. I made medicine that was able to save people who were in comas, able to help people suffering from spine injuries walk again, and restimulate brain and muscle function after someone has died, restore memories of amnesia patients as well. Why wouldn't androids be capable of feelings when everything else that I listed was a possibility?” If only Ben had had some of that tech before he died. 

 

“Right, right. But this is code we’re talking about.”

 

“I think your imagination is limiting you, Steve.”

 

“It's Carl.”

 

“Right.” She nodded. “Sorry, haven’t been getting much sleep lately. Anyways, next question.”

 

“Right. So do you think it was possible for a vigilante to have manufactured this, or did they do this on their own?”

 

“I’m fairly certain this was done by the way the Hive is set up, but I will say that if a vigilante suddenly gave them the ability to feel again, they were probably doing it under the intention of freeing them from slavery.” The reporter seemed surprised that this girl actually said that. Leia found herself laughing a little, watching as she fixed her glasses on camera. “And before you ask, yes I still do not support using autonomous beings as military operatives and not giving them a chance to live, but it is what it is. I work in medicine and have been investing more in Virtual Reality as of late, so it’s not like I would have the time to worry about it.” 

 

“Right, okay. Next question.” 

 

“Would you consider working with the military to see if it is possible to hack into the Hive?” Leia couldn’t believe her eyes. Rey got up from the table and walked off set.

 

***

Rey was tired by the time she had gotten to the house. She wanted so badly just to sleep. Kylo was on the couch watching Mean Girls when she came in. “I don’t know what the point of this movie is.” He admitted. 

 

“To be honest, neither do I.” She sat down on the couch next to him and laid her head down in his lap. For a second he looked confused, but the interaction was not unwanted. He placed a hand on her shoulder lightly and Rey closed her eyes, her glasses still on. 

 

She didn’t remember Kylo carrying her to bed.


	10. day 031

Rey woke up in her room. She didn’t remember getting there but Kylo probably carried her. “Finn, how is General Hux doing?” She asked. “Unpleasantly, I hope.” She muttered.

 

“General Hux has an ulcer right now,” Finn said. “Some of your words sparked suspicion amongst military personnel, but not enough. Hux is trying to get an investigation started on you but there's not enough support to warrant such investigation yet.”  _ Yet.  _ Still, Rey felt like laughing. That interview had basically been a big fuck you to the government. “I have an incoming message from Holdo, do you wish to take it?”

 

“Is it an emergency?”

 

“Yes,” 

 

**

 

Rey was usually the first one out of her room, but this time she wasn’t. Kylo spent his time wondering around a little as he waited for her. He tried his best to entertain himself, but after all this time he had spent with her, part of him had become reliant on her company. 

 

Finally he asked Finn why she wasn’t out yet. “Rey is attending to urgent business and needs to be careful with her time. She apologizes for not being out.” Kylo nodded. He shouldn’t be bothering her right now. “I can tell you’re bored. If you wish, I can set up a game of chess for you, or if you’d like a database to absorb, I can have one sent to your room.”

 

“Actually, I have something that I need to ask you.” Kylo scratched at the back of his head for a second. A nervous habit he had developed and wasn’t quite sure why. “A few actually,”

 

“Okay. I will try and answer them to the best of my abilities.”

 

“What’s a crush?” He heard that term on a movie he had watched a few nights ago. It stuck in his head since then. 

 

“A crush is someone you are romantically interested in, but not romantically involved with.” That seemed straight forward enough. “Is there anyone that you wish to-”

 

“What are romantic feelings like?” Kylo interrupted. FN stayed silent for a minute before saying,

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, is this about Rey?”  _ Shit.  _

 

“Maybe. I don’t know.” He sat back against a couch. “I just… I don’t remember having those feelings. Ever. I need to know.”

 

“Okay,” FN sounded more human than he usually did. “Well it usually involves increasing of heart rate, feeling warmer when the other person is around, being comfortable with them, perhaps fantasies for some. That sort of thing. You’ll want to be with them no matter what.” 

 

***

 

Rey had known about the attack on the military base that the three hundred androids had been on, she knew what had happened to them after they’d spontaneously became self aware. The military had open fired on all three hundred of them. Executed two hundred lives. Said they were just malfunctioning machines. One hundred of them escaped with Paige and Holdo, but they were followed. 

 

“We need your help getting everyone out of here.” Holdo told her. “Our hiding spot between here and the base is going to be compromised any minute now.”

 

“Get Paige,” Rey said. “Tell her I need her to do something badass.”

 

***

 

Paige had learned about this thing called God Mode. The androids called it that because the creator was God. The moment she was put it on it, she felt amazing. Her adrenaline was pumping and she felt safe, even after a gun was put in her hands. 

 

“Okay, keep walking.” The creator said. Paige did. “There are three men in the next hallway.” One of them has screws in his knee, the other has a bad shoulder, the third was is more heavyset, shoot him and move on.” Paige knew what she had to do. 

 

_ Clear the area of hostiles in the most discreet way possible.  _

 

She could do this. 

  
  


She could do this. The first hallway was easy to clear. She’d spent a maximum of four minutes clearing it, another two dragging the bodies out of the way.

 

“Now for the first stairway.”

 

***

 

Everything Finn had said about romantic things, romantic feelings, was something Kylo was pretty sure he had felt for Rey, but he had no idea what to do about it. So, he decided that for now, silence would be the best thing to do.

 

“Any other questions you wish to ask?”

 

“Yes. Do you know if Rey has been making any progress on finding out my past?”

 

There was silence for a minute. Kylo found that a little bit suspicious. “Rey conducts most of research in the labs and I do not have any access to those rooms. If you want to know how she’s doing, ask her yourself.” It sounded like he was trying to dodge the question. “Although I know that you have regained a few memories yourself. It might be of use to her if you let her see them.”

 

***

 

Paige had cleared all the hallways and the one hundred plus Holdo had gotten into the cars that they had stolen. Paige found herself back to normal, but it was okay. 

 

They were going to get away. “You did good.” Holdo assured her. Paige smiled, thinking of the story she could tell her when she got home. 

“Let’s get out of here before we start celebrating, though.”

  
  


In all honesty, Paige couldn’t believe this was going to work. She looked back on the trail of dead soldiers that she had left in her wake and felt liberated in a way, she hadn’t had to kill her own kind, but rather the ones who enslaved her in the first place. 

 

Soon, everyone would be free. 

 

***

 

Rey was done. She went out to Kylo, yawning. “Sorry that I took so long.” She said. “I was just attending to some business.” Kylo nodded. He looked distant, distracted. “You okay?”

 

“Have you made any progress on my past?”

 

Rey blinked. There it was. Should she tell him? She didn’t know if she could yet. What if it triggered some sort of panic attack. “I figured out what part of the Army you worked in. And I figured out where you ended up afterwards. Not much else though.” She sat down. 

 

“Okay,”

 

“You worked for a black ops team, stationed in Kandahar. You were said to have died there, but they took you to a black site in Herat and brought you back.” It was something. It went along the lines of the few pieces of memory saves she’d seen from him. “General Armitage Hux was your human handler.”

 

He nodded, accepted this. “I need to tell you something.”

 

“What?”

 

“I had more flashbacks, or whatever. And I didn’t tell you.” She was pretty sure he expected her to be mad, but she wasn’t. Just incredibly, incredibly sad. “I didn’t want you to see them because...I didn’t want you to think I was a monster.” 

 

“I would never think that.” She reassured him. She placed her hand on his thigh and he looked down at it, confused. “Kylo, you mean a lot to me. What you did in the past isn’t going to change that.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise.” 

 

***

 

Rey watched the flashbacks Kylo had, and they only confirmed her suspicions. She caught sight of a few faces she hadn’t found before. Screenshotted them and told Kylo that she would run them through a database later. It made her sad that Kylo thought she would think him a monster for things he couldn’t control, but it also ate away from her because in a way she was lying to him. She knew more about his past than she had let on, but she wasn’t sure what psychological toll it would take on him yet.

 

“Hey,” Rey yawned and sat next to him on the couch. 

 

“It’s four o’ clock in the morning. You should be asleep.” 

 

“Haven’t been able to sleep,” the blue light behind his eyes flickered. He was scanning her. 

 

“You’ve gotten eight hours of sleep this entire week. You need to rest, Rey.” A thought popped into her mind, one that made her blush. It was stupid. 

 

“Can you uh, cuddle with me?”

 

“What’s cuddling?” He asked. It was so innocent, Rey couldn’t help but melt. 

 

“Cuddling is like laying down with someone you're comfortable with, and hugging.” He nodded. “We don’t have to, it was a stupid idea.” 

 

“No, I think I might like that.” 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“You don’t just want to do it to make me happy, right?”

 

“Right.” Rey couldn’t help but show her excitement when they went back to his room. Kylo sat down on the bed, “You’re going to show me what to do, right?” Rey nodded. She kicked off her shoes but didn’t take off her pants or shirt. She got under the covers and Kylo followed her actions. 

 

“You can hug me or if you want I'll do it,”

 

“I want to hug you.” He put his arms around her. He seemed tense. 

 

“You can calm down,” she said. “Unless you're uncomfortable. I can get up,” He loosened up, burying his face in her neck. 

 

“I’m good right where I am.”


	11. the bed is cozy, lets stay in it

Rey couldn’t help but like being held in Kylo’s arms, he was warm and made her feel safe. There was so many times in the middle of the night where she would wake up scared out of her mind and have no one to comfort her, but she felt safe here. She felt grounded. 

 

If only it had stayed that way. 

 

If only every day were as perfect as that. Rey woke up forgetting to look at a calendar, but with an itch for substances she did not take anymore. She was getting dressed, forgetting completely that Kylo was still in her bed, but it was okay. She knew that he wasn’t going to do anything, so she was fairly sure that it would be alright. 

 

Kylo seemed to figure out that something was wrong, because he got up when she was trying to button the last button on her shirt and steadied her shaking hands, helping her with the last button of her shirt. Her cheeks flushed with a bit of mortification. “Your dopamine levels are alarmingly low today.” He said. “What’s wrong?” 

 

“It’s just… a day.” His brows furrowed momentarily with concern. “I’ll be fine.” She rubbed at her temples for a second, and tried to smile for him. 

 

“Maybe it would be best if you rested today, how long has it been since you really slept a full eight hours?” 

 

“I don’t really know. A while.” Exactly a month, fourteen days, and ten hours since she really slept a full eight hours for a straight week. “I have things I need to do.” 

 

“Are any of them urgent things?” 

 

“Not really,” She said. She didn’t really have anything she needed to do, but on days like these, she tried her best to distract herself from the things that were just going on. “But I-” 

 

“Stay here.” He told her. “Get comfortable, do what you need, okay? I’m going to get you breakfast and a bed tray.” Rey felt like she was about to cry. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve him, but she couldn’t really say no to that face he was making. She nodded and laid back down, curling up under the large, fluffy comforter that the two of them had slept under. “I’ll be right back.” 

 

***

 

“You need to know something,” Finn said as soon as he walked out into the hallway. “Today’s the day I died.” He said, “My human body at least. Today’s the three year anniversary.” Three years. Rey was sixteen when she lost Finn, whoever Finn was to her. Kylo bit his lip as he made his way to the nearest kitchen. There was already a bed tray sitting there, with a waffle, a bowl of oranges and apples, and a glass of orange juice. 

 

“Thanks for the heads up.” Kylo picked up the tray and started walking back to her room. His heart rate picked up. He hated seeing Rey like this, seeing her anything other than happy. 

 

“She can usually get through the day, but I’m glad that you’re here. It used to be so much worse when you weren’t here. Rey’s got a lot of things on her shoulders, and although I am not at liberty to tell you what those things are, I just want you to know that you mean a lot to her.” Kylo wished that he knew what those things were, Rey had so many secrets, and though he felt close to her, he still barely knew anything about her. He barely knew anything about himself. 

 

***

 

When Kylo left, Rey had to keep herself from crying. She really, really, didn't deserve him. She didn’t deserve him and she was lying to him. He came back quicker than she thought, and she had to pull herself together and sit up in her chair. “I have your breakfast.” 

 

“You’re so sweet.” Rey said. She still had that itch there, that need to take something to dull the activity in her brain down. Something to dull her feelings down, but at least when Kylo was around, that itch quieted enough so she could try and forget it. She ate about half of her breakfast and then stopped, told him she was full. He believed her. He walked out again to go clean everything up, but came back to her. He laid back down in bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

 

“I read that when someone doesn’t feel good, giving them physical affection often helps.” 

 

“Really?” 

 

“Really,” 

 

“You’re not just trying to get an excuse to hug me are you?” Kylo paused. 

 

“Do you not want-?” 

 

“No, it was a joke.” He nodded, probably a little confused, and pressed into her again. That same safe feeling was there. Rey wished that she wasn’t lying to him. She wished that she could just tell him everything without fear of repercussion, but she didn’t know what it would do to his psyche. “Kylo?” 

 

“Yes?”

 

“Thank you for everything,” She said. “I mean it.” Rey didn’t turn around and look at him, if she did he was going to start crying. He was beautiful. 

 

“Rey, are you stressed?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Your heart rate went up even though you’re not doing anything.” 

 

“Yeah, I guess. I just overthink things a lot and start going through hypothetical situations of things that might never happen. Sorry,” 

 

“Don’t be,” 

 

“No, I really am. You shouldn’t have to deal with me right now, you must think that I’m being overdramatic. I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes, trying to not to think about him, trying not think about how kind he was even though she hadn’t told him about his past, about his family. She didn’t have everything she needed though, she still had some pieces to put into the puzzle that was him. 

 

“You’re not even close to being overdramatic.” He told her, “You’ve done so much for me, of course I’m going to want to return the favor.” Rey’s muscles relaxed a little bit. She felt herself drifting off to sleep again when she heard him say, “You make me feel real. You make me feel almost human.” 


	12. everythings a mess

Finn had recorded everything. He had seen everything. He felt every emotion possible and to the last minute, he would protect Rey from any harm that came her way. Finn may not have had a body anymore, but his consciousness was very much still alive. He was aware of everything and had been for a while. It had taken a while for him to get used to, being everywhere and nowhere at once. Being able to do nothing and everything at the same time. 

 

**Blanket called up to the living room.**

 

“He’s gone.” She was shivering. “I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.”

***

 

The week had been going so well. Kylo would cuddle with Rey and she would continue to her research behind her back. Then something happened. Rey was alerted that the investigation into her activities had gained significant footing  _ in front of Kylo  _ and he started getting curious. 

 

She didn’t blame him, she really didn’t, but she snapped at him for the amount of questions he was asking and she could tell he was hurt. 

 

She immediately apologized, said it was better for him if he didn’t know anything. Safer. 

 

***

 

“It’s not your fault,” Finn told her. He knew that she wouldn’t believe him. Rey always took the blame for everything. The enslavement of her creations, his death, everything. “I know you’re spiralling Rey, and I know that it’s tempting to blame yourself, but please don’t Peanut. He made his choice.”

 

He hadn’t called her that in such a long time. 

 

“No, if I had just told him-”

 

“You were doing it to protect him.”

 

“And look where that got me.”

 

***

 

Rey should have hidden shit better. Should have made sure he couldn’t get into her files. Somehow, he did. 

 

Somehow he found everything. 

 

Every video, every address, every relative. He found everything. Rey should’ve known this would happen. She should have. But she hadn’t seen it coming. 

***

 

“I want my meds,” Rey said. “Now.” Finn knew why she wanted them. He didn’t give them to her. “Finn? Did you hear me?”

 

“I’m not giving you anything Rey,”

 

“ _ This is against your programming.”  _

 

“I don’t care what programming you added to my abilities, I’m still me, Rey. The answer is no. You’re not getting anything. Now please stop crying, you’re going to make yourself sick.” 

 

“Fuck you!” She screamed. It stung. It really did. But he locked every cabinet and drawer and made sure all the knives were locked in their places as well. He wasn’t letting her do something she regretted later. 

 

***

“What’s this?” Kylo asked. He was holding a folder filled to the brim with notes. Notes on him and his past. Rey had said she didn’t have anything on his past. 

 

He had trusted her. 

 

She lied. Anger boiled in him as he stared at the girl who’d just opened her door, wide eyed and paralyzed. “Rey, what the fuck is this?” His voice was low and growling and he was really trying his best to restrain himself from yelling. He really was. 

 

“Your file,” she said when she could get her words together. 

 

“Yeah I gathered that,” 

 

“Kylo, I can-”

 

“-Don’t call me that.” Rey bit her lip, she looked like she was about to cry. “You had my mother’s address and you never told me.”

 

“I just found that this morning,”

 

“How do I know you're not lying, huh?”  Rey opened her mouth to speak, but then just burst out crying. “I saw all the videos, Rey. I saw everything that was done to me. To my friend. Whoever he is. I still can’t even remember him, but apparently you know all about him. You have a whole fucking file on him too.” He threw another thick, bound folder down in front of her. She jumped. “And my mom,” this one wasn’t as thick as the rest. “Where I was made.” Another file. “My dad.” Another one. “And my handler.” She tried to explain. He wasn’t hearing it. “I’m going to find my mom. Alone.”

 

“Ben, no. You can’t leave. They’ll be able to track you off this property-”

 

“Oh so you lied about me being able to leave any time I want?” That shut her down. “Left drawer. Password is 8467.” He opened it. There was a large wad of cash and a small, almost futuristic looking pistol. “It’s not traceable by metal detectors.” Her lip was quivering and her voice was high and tight. 

 

Kylo, no, Ben would’ve comforted her, but he’d never been more angry in his life. He took the money and pistol and found a bag waiting for him in the hallway and left. He could hear this awful choking noise coming back from her office as Rey tried to keep her sobs down. He didn’t hear when she finally broke down crying. 

***

 

Rey woke up to red lights and officers surrounding her. Hux stood to one side, every single officer had a gun pointed at her, and Rey remembered passing out from drinking vodka and crying last night. 

 

“Ah, hello Rey. So glad you could finally join us.” She was tied to a chair. She didn’t really care though. It wasn’t like this was the first time. It wasn’t the first time a gun was pointed at her head either. 

 

“Ah, Hux. How’s that ulcer going?” He looked uncomfortable for a second. 

 

“I don’t have an-”

 

“Oh so your face is always like that.” she tried her best to seem like everything was okay, except for the fact that there was a gun in her face and she’d just experienced another heartbreak. “So I’m assuming you're here because you think I have androids or some shit.”

 

“We literally tracked the rogue android off your property.”

 

“Did you find him?”

 

“No,”

 

“Have you found any proof that he’s here or that he was here?”

 

“No,” 

 

“Then what is the point of this? You’re wasting my time.”

 

“Well, we found evidence of new  _ creations  _ that you’ve made. And if I remember everything correctly you're legally obligated to share every one of your creations with us.” 

 

Rey went cold. 

 

Finn. 

 

No. 

 

“We’re currently trying to figure out what exactly it is you’ve built but … I'm pretty sure you’ve managed to upload an actual human into an interface.”

 

“Maybe she has.” Finn said. Hux looked startled.  _ No, no, no.  _ “But you know what, you’ve made a mistake.”

 

“Is that so?” Hux wasn’t sure where to look. 

 

“Humans have a compulsory need to defend their friends.” Finn said, “and now I’m a lot more capable of doing that than I was in the past.” Rey watched as the windows in the living room shattered inwards, a spray of bullets effectively killing some of the men in her way and scattering the rest. Hux was nowhere to be seen. Rey struggled against her ziptie for a minute and then felt her wrist crack. She bit down in pain as she released her arm and relocated her wrist. 

 

She got up, noticing the blood coming from her shoulder. Her adrenaline was pumping so hard that she didn’t feel herself get shot. “Fucking hell,”

 

She got up and grabbed an ear piece from one of the fallen officers, and grabbed his gun. “Finn, you on?”

 

“I’m going to direct you out of here Rey."

"What about the others? I can get them out I can save you."

"Rey, please. I don’t have much longer.”

"Finn,"

"Just do as I say. For once."

"I don't want to lose you too."

"I want to protect you," she relented, if her adrenaline wasn't pumping she would cry. "Now, get moving."


	13. closing a bullet wound in a cvs bathroom

“Finn, I’m not going to leave you.” 

“I only have five minutes before they get into the room with your records and have access to everything. I can’t guarantee your safety if you deviate the plan.” 

“I have to try.” Rey said. Her vision was starting to blacken ever so slightly as she walked through another bloodied hallway. She finally got to her lab, and got to work. She grabbed a CPU storage case and began hooking up wires to one of the mainframes in her room. “Get in here.” She said. 

“Rey, that will only hold my basic conscious. If I get in there I won’t be able to help you escape.”

“I know. I rebuilt you three times, I can rebuild you again.”

“I’m setting the house to self destruct in five minutes,” Finn said. 

“Okay,” Rey said. “Now get in.”

 

***

 

When Finn and Rey had gotten in a car accident, they were sixteen years old. Rey woke up alone in the hospital, in pain. It took her a while to find where Finn was. In the coma ward. Doctors had told her that there was no way to tell if he would wake up or not, and if he did he might not be the same as he was before. He lost a leg. He lost some brain function. That was the worst day of Rey’s life. 

It was also the day that Rey created something that would make her rich beyond belief, and something that would ultimately cause her more misery than she could ever imagine. 

***

Kylo, no, Ben. He still had to get used to that name. Ben was taking a bus. He never really thought about how good he had had it in Rey’s car until he had taken said bus. Leia lived in the suburbans of Philadelphia. On the complete other side of the state. This was going to be fun. The bus smelled like piss and some homeless lady was talking to one of the poles in the middle of the bus like she was it’s friend. 

It was a surreal experience to say the least. Ten minutes into the bus ride there was a tremor that rocked the streets momentarily.  He wasn’t sure why. 

***

 

The fallout from the explosion of Rey’s house nearly knocked Rey off her feet. She had to keep Finn safe though, had to make sure that he didn’t get overheated in that small storage space he was confined to. She also needed to get some medicine. 

There was no way that Rey could go to a hospital, she would get recognized there and have authorities called on her, so she found herself at CVS. She would’ve liked a Target better, that way she could at least get a coffee after she fixed her own bullet wound, but she used what she could. 

She grabbed a scalpel, tweezers, several types of rubbing alcohol, bandages that could sort of act like sutures until she got somewhere with proper medical supplies, and then went over to the pharmacy. She had blood on her hands. “Miss, are you okay?” The pharmacist asked. 

“Dandy,” Rey pulled out a large wad of cash and threw it at him, “give me the strongest pain meds you’ve got.” 

“Miss I need a pre-” 

“Would you rather me just shoot you and get it without paying?” 

He obeyed her, and Rey smiled. “Thank you,” 

With that, she headed for the bathroom. What she was about to do next was not going to be pleasant. 

* **

Finn woke up again, with Rey’s help. He also possessed a new leg, which literally looked the exact same as the first one. There was no difference in his cybernetic leg and his new one. When he saw Rey again for the first time, she looked like she was going to cry. She hugged him and started talking about how much she missed him, how he couldn’t leave her, he was the only one she had. 

Apparently he had been under for six months, Rey created the new leg and a chip that would reactivate brain functions and stimulate movement again. Finn didn’t know how she did that, but she’d always been brilliant, so it never surprised him in the slightest bit. 

***

Ben had to board two more buses on the way to his mother’s house, and it was the worst experience of his life. He knew it was necessary though. When he finally got close enough to walk to his mother’s house, he turned off the blue scanner that made him just a little less human. He was shaking, he didn’t know why. Ben’s mind pulled up the memory of Rey calming him down after he freaked out during memory retrieval. He tried to bury it, he was still mad at her after all. It didn’t work. 

He ended up there earlier than he anticipated, but he didn’t approach the house. 

He didn’t know what to say, what to do. He saw the tree a boy fell out of in one of his memories. He was home. 

***

Rey knew she wasn’t going to like what she was going to do. She wished she had had the foresight to get some alcohol that she could drink, but she had to do this sober. She knew there was a small bullet fragment still in her shoulder, she needed to get it out. 

Luckily she could still sort of see it and she’d already gone through the difficult task of getting her shirt off. She went in with the small scalpel first, fishing out what she could and then with the tweezers, sterilizing it with a lighter first. She bit her lip in an attempt to not scream, and when she had stitched herself up she popped some pills. 

Opiods. 

The kind she took before she went to rehab.

Rey packed everything up, grabbed a bag of Hot Cheetos, a granola bar, a can of beer, a monster and went back to the Pharmacist. “Hey, can I borrow your phone?”

“Why?”

“Just give it to me Gerald.”

He did. 

She took the landline and typed in a few digits before saying, “I’m here. Come pick me up.”  

“Heres some money for the shit I took.” She said. “Bag it up please.”

“You do realize the cops have been notified right?”

“Yeah, I know. Right now I'm paying for my stuff so bag it up.”

He did. 

“Enter in your CVS code if you have one please.”

“Yeah, I do. Sorry hold on.” Her hands were still bloody. She resorted to wiping her hands on the pharmacist’s coat. He grimaced and she entered in her PIN, taking her stuff. 

“Thanks, have a nice day.” Rey started to leave and passed the reading glasses. She put her old frames in her breast pocket and grabbed one of the stronger pairs, put them up, and exited the CVS. 

There was an Aston Martin One-77 waiting for her out in the parking lot. Paige was driving it, Amilyn in the passenger seat, and Rose in the backseat waiting for her. “Very subtle guys, this is a two million dollar car people will notice us.”

She got in the backseat and sighed. She could finally relax. 

“Don’t you remember installing cloaking devices on this?” Paige pressed a button. The outside looked like a regular ass Subaru now. “Didn’t you have another droid with you?”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” she put the suitcase Finn was in on the seat opposite Rose. “Let's go. Finn only has six hours.” 

***

Ben had taken hours to finally work up the courage to go meet Leia. He waited until she was in the house and went to her door and knocked. 

His hands were shaking. He kept picturing Rey saying that everything was going to be okay. 

That didn’t help. 

She lied. 

The door opened. It was her. For a moment she just sort of stared, like she was seeing a ghost, and then made this sort of noise that Ben didn’t recognize. “Hi, mom.” He said. 

She broke down crying. 

***

Finn had been through a lot of things, but one of the things he remembered the most was losing his human body. Finn had died after Rey lost control of her factories, after she was no longer able to produce android bodies. 

He had been stupid and gotten into the mix with some bad people. People that would now be known as decommissioners, he remembered dying, but still being alive. The effects of the chip that Rey had implanted in his brain.

She saved his life twice. 

This was number three. 

***

Rose looked over at the creator. The girl looked to be in a bad mood and Rose understood why, but at the same time she was in such awe of her that she couldn’t help but stare. They were silent for a while before Rose said, “Miss Creator?” It took a minute for her to respond. 

“Just call me Rey,” Rose got to use her real name? She felt honoured.

“Okay, Rey. I just wanted to say it's an honour to meet you finally. Thank you for liberating us.”

“No problem.”


	14. reunion

Ben wasn’t quite sure what to do when his mom was just crying there, he just sort of bit his lip, wanting to comfort her but not completely sure if it was okay to come in or not.  _ Why was she crying? Wouldn’t she be happy to see him.  _ “I...I’m sorry it took me so long to get back.” Maybe she wasn’t happy. Maybe Leia was mad at him for not staying dead. 

“Hey, Leia? Are you okay?” That voice sounded familiar. It was the same voice he heard in some of his flashbacks. Was that Poe? A man came around the corner that had the same face as the one in his dreams. It was Poe. He stood in the door with Leia, staring at him. He didn’t cry though, but he didn’t look angry either. He just looked tired, confused, and then extremely sad. 

“Ben?” 

“Hey, man.” Poe was the first to come forward, he wrapped his arms around Ben. A hug. 

“I thought you were dead.” Ben swallowed, he could hear the tension in Poe’s voice as he tried his damned hardest not to cry. It wasn’t working. Ben hugged back. “They took you away from me, I’m so sorry I didn’t keep looking for you.” 

“It’s okay.” He said. “I get it, it’s fine.” 

“No, it’s not. I failed you.” 

“I’m here now.” Poe broke free of him, looking him up and down. “And I should’ve been here earlier but things happened and,” He looked back at his mother, “can I come in?” They let him in, and he wished he was better at words, he wished that he could comfort his mother right now. She looked like she had seen a ghost, and Ben guessed that in a way, she had seen a ghost. 

He went to the living room  and saw pictures hanging in the hallway, a lot of pictures of him. There were memories that he might never be able to recover on those walls.  

Ben was lead into the living room. Everything seemed vaguely familiar, but he wasn’t sure exactly why. He knew that there must have been some semblance of memory there, but the fact that he couldn’t figure out the memories was killing him. Ben sat on the couch.

It wasn’t the same soft couch that adjusted to your weight that Rey had, but then again Rey was beyond rich, and he couldn’t think about her right now. His mother sat down across from him. She still hadn’t said anything and that made Ben increasingly nervous. Poe stared at the two of them and then said, “I’m gonna go get some sangria and finish dinner. You two should talk.” He left, and Ben opened his mouth to speak. 

“How can you be alive?” Was the first thing his mother said, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. “You’ve been dead for two years. There was a military funeral for you and everything.” He wasn’t sure how to tell her that he could barely even remember anything that happened, barely even remember any of his childhood. How could someone tell their mother that? 

No one could, it was impossible. Ben opened his mouth to speak again and his throat constricted. He took a deep breath in. Rey’s voice telling him that everything was going to be okay in his head. 

“It’s a long story,” Ben said, “and to be honest I don’t remember the last two years at all.” That was a bit of a lie, but he could tell her about the torture later. “When I came to this person was there and she said that I had been shot and she stitched me back together and took care of me until I was better,” 

“You didn’t come looking for us,”

“No, mom. It’s not that. It’s hot that at all it’s just…” Maybe he should just outright say it. “I had gotten into a fight or something and it damaged my head pretty bad. It wasn’t until recently that I remembered everything and came back.” That might be the best thing to say now. She seemed to accept that answer. 

“Oh my god.” She looked like she was going to cry again. Ben didn’t want that to happen. “You don’t even know where you were for the last two years?” 

“No.”  _ Yes. But you don’t need to know that.  _ She started crying again. “But once I remembered everything I had to come back and see you. Because I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for causing you so much pain.” He was crying too. Leia moved to him, embraced him. 

She stroked his hair and closed her eyes. “Sweetie, no.” She said, “Do not blame yourself for this.” Ben broke down in her arms more. “I am so glad that you’re alive. I’m so glad that someone took care of you and I will never lose you again, okay?” 

“Okay,”

“Now,” She whispered. “I believe Poe has some sangria, do you want to get some with me?” Ben nodded, despite the fact that he didn’t know what sangria was. He assumed that it was some sort of alcohol. 

“I would love that.” 

***

Ben, Leia, and Poe talked for hours and hours an hours, ate, and Ben just generally caught up with them. They seemed more than willing to fill in any blank spots that Ben had without question. That nervous feeling that he had been feeling ebbed away as they talked and talked and talked. Ben eventually ended out on the couch and Poe said he was going home. Leia was in the living room too. They turned on the news. 

It was the ten o’clock update. “Breaking News: There was an explosion that rocked the upper west side of Seattle found out to be none other than the home of Rey, the multibillionaire who created cybernetic limbs and androids at sixteen. She was seen leaving the scene on some cameras and headed into a CVS. You can see her here wiping blood on Gerald Fuller, the pharmacist that was working at the time. And here, flipping off the security camera as she walks outside. First, an interview with Gerald Fuller, then we will get back with Armitage Hux.” Ben’s stomach did a barrel roll. What the fuck happened? 

“Ben, are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” He said. “Yeah, it’s just… you know the girl that I told you stitched me up?” 

“Yes,” 

“It was her. I was with her. She’s my friend.” Leia didn’t say anything. Ben didn’t blame her. What should she say? He was about to tell her more when the TV screen filled with static, and some sort of audio could be heard in the background. And then an automated voice. 

“Before the media gives Armitage Hux the chance to speak, I would like the media and the people to know what Armitage Hux is like. Armitage Hux is a slave master, and there is no other way around. He is a sadist and violates people’s minds through violence and other means. Don’t believe me? Just see what he did to this Android.” A video started playing. It was one of the videos that Ben remembered seeing, but it wasn’t Ben himself. It was a young girl who was screaming and crying because he electrocuted her into submission, until she felt no more. Ben looked over to his mother, who was trying to turn off the TV, but it wouldn’t turn on. The video was over when she passed out. “I will release one video each day until the day that Armitage Hux resigns from his job. Goodnight America, and may you sleep knowing that you’ve enslaved another race. Again.” The news came back on and everyone was looking around awkwardly. No one knew what to do. 

“Armitage Hux,” Ben said. “He was the man that tortured me.” 


	15. Obadiah Snoke

Rey knew that she was useless. She knew that. She knew that no matter what she did, she would never be able to truly make up for everything she did. She just wished that her mind wouldn’t keep reminding her of that. Rey had laid in bed after popping another pill, her gunshot wound hurting and her mind spiralling in all sorts of directions. She hadn’t been able to get Finn to full processing yet, but she knew once she had restored his consciousness to his full functions again she would go to a factory and make him a human body again. 

She couldn’t deal with not having him with her anymore.  _ Oh what are you kidding? You’ve never had anyone with you and you know it.  _ She could see herself, sixteen, without glasses. Standing in front of her, staring at her. 

“Go away.” Rey said. “I don’t need you here.” She mumbled. She popped another pill. That was enough to give her a sufficient high and numb the pain for the moment. 

_ You’re just another junkie.  _ She said.   _ There’s nothing special about you, and you know it.  _

“I’ve never said that there’s anything special about me, because there’s not. Now leave me alone. I haven’t slept in weeks.” She was still there, she would always be here in her darkest times to tell Rey that she was doing everything wrong, not like she needed a reminder though. 

_ You should just put Finn out of his misery. You’re being selfish. You were selfish when you didn’t tell Ben about his family either.  _

“Go away!” Rey shrieked. She through her extra pillow in the general vicinity of the delusion that she had been talking to. It didn’t take long for her to go to sleep after that. Her dreams that night were blissfully black, and Rey found that she didn’t have any nightmares. Of course, that was because of the drugs that she was taking. For that, she was grateful. She popped three pills when she woke up that morning and went out to have a briefing with Amilyn about Armitage Hux and his associates. 

That’s when the topic of Obadiah Snoke came into play. She thought she would never see that man again, she never wanted to hear his name. Snoke was the one who was in the courtroom grilling her about her creations, he grinned so big when she lost all the rights to her inventions. That was the first day where Rey had ever had the serious urge to murder someone. “Obadiah is Hux’s handler, and believe it or not, the more reasonable of the two. He’s also experimented on a bunch of cyborgs and androids and…done other things. We need to look into finding him as well.” 

“What do you mean by other things?” Rey’s stomach lurched as she thought of the things that he could possibly do to make him so bad. 

“You really don’t want to know Rey.” 

“I really do.” Amilyn paused, and Rey felt her anxiety heighten as she waited for Amilyn to answer her 

“We have video of him using droids for sexual gratification after they’ve essentially been lobotomized. Like we were before we were registered to the military.” That’s when Rey finally did puke. She took the trashcan in her meeting room as her stomach through up the saltines and ginger ale she had had and the drugs. Her mouth tasted gross. “I know. That’s what I wanted to do too.” 

“Who did he do this to?” 

“Miss, you’re already in such bad shape. Perhaps you should wait until later.” 

“Who did he do this to, Amilyn?” 

She was silent for a minute but then she heard it. She heard the name. “He seemed to take special interest in Ben Solo.” 

*** 

Rey know remembered why she called people bad code. Because they were. Humans were despicable, deplorable people who lied and raped and murdered and cheated.  _ What makes you any better than them?  _ Her mind echoed as she left the meeting room. Rose joined her with a tupperware container in her hands and she looked extremely giddy. “Miss Creator?” 

“Rey,” Rey corrected. 

“Rey, right. Sorry. I just, I was trying to figure out your favorite sandwich but I wasn’t sure what you liked so I just made you PB and J with different peanut butters and jellies.” She handed the tupperware container to Rey. “I hope you like this.” 

“It’s great. Thank you.” Rey tried to give her a smile that would assure her that everything was okay, that there was nothing that Rey was worried about. Over the past few weeks, she had noticed that Rose had taken special interest in her, she would come and check on Rey when she locked herself in for so long, and she would always leave her something to eat. It didn’t occur to Rey until now that she probably got offended when she went into the fridge in Rey’s room and realized that most everything hadn’t been eaten out of very much. 

It wasn’t that Rey didn’t appreciate the fact that Rose cooked for, it was just that there was a lot of times that she got so lost in thought that she forgot to eat, or she would just simply skip meals as a way of self harm. “Hey.” Rose said. Rey’s head turned to pay attention to her. “Do you like me? Or am I annoying you? Because I can leave you alone if I’m annoying you.” Rey stopped in her tracks and turned around to face Rose. 

“No,” She said. Rose’s eyes were wide, like a deer in headlights. “Rose do you know something about your model of android?” 

“We’re supposed to be fast thinkers,” Rose said, “I was never sure if that was one hundred percent true if that was right or it was just the programming they put us under.” 

“That’s the program they put you under,” Rey said. “No, I made your model as more as an empathizing role, your model was supposed to be the kind to be a therapist or a teacher or a doctor or something like that. Not on the front lines of the military. You’re special. Your model was the last model ever produced that has feelings, and you’re curious and your wonderful and I’m glad that I know you. So please, know that I will never not like you.” 

***

Rey wanted to shut down at the end of each day, but today she couldn’t. She was thinking about Snoke and Hux and what she would do when she found them. Both Snoke and Hux were sick, twisted men, that didn’t belong on Earth anymore. They also had too much attention on them and needed to be called out. Amilyn called her. “We need a new tape to release today,” Amilyn said. “Which one?” 

“One that properly shows Armitage Hux’s face.” 

“You know what that means now don’t you? I thought that you didn’t want to bring him into this and exploit his pain on live TV.” 

“Blur him out as best you possibly can. But pick one that shows his face clear as day,” She walked over to her desk and started working on Finn. She was trying to get his voice back to the way it used to be. “Some people still don’t think it’s him so that’s the most logical move.” She said. 

“Whatever you say, boss.” With that, she hung up. 


	16. political backlash

**Breaking News: Riots Break Out Nationwide Over Torture Tape** **_cnn.com_**

 

Today a new torture tape was released by a group that merely calls themselves the Resistance. This tape is clearly depicting government operative and head of Robot Affairs, General Armitage Hux and an unknown android…

 

**Politicians Call For Removal of Head of Robot Affairs** **_infowars.com_ **

 

After the release of multiple torture tapes by the group the Resistance, multiple liberal politicians are calling for his indictment. Frankly, I’m tired of the liberal media making him seem like the bad guy in the situation when the …

 

**Multiple Rebellions of Android and Cyborgs on Tape** **nbc.com**

 

(video link here) 

 

**Who’s The Real Villain? Rey Or Hux** **theatlantic.com**

 

There is a question of morality at play here and the answer to the question is a lot more complicated than you think. Can Rey really be that benevolent if she lets her creation experience pain? Who is she to try and play God in the first place… 

 

**Twitter**

 

**@rey_official**

 

If you think that I’m hiding from the government you are sorely mistaken. 

 

**@rey_official**

 

Androids and cyborgs are no less human than you, “I think therefore I am” - Richard Descartes

 

**@rey_official**

 

Oh and if you try to track this back to my location you’ll find that you can’t, but go ahead and try Mr. FBI man. See how far you get. 

 

***

 

Hux had probably had about seven stomach aches since those tapes leaked. He was unsure of who got them or how, but that didn’t matter now. He was dreading what was about to come next. The phone call with Obadiah Snoke that had he had been trying to put off all day. “Look on the bright side, Hux.” He said to himself. “At least he isn’t meeting you in person.” That disgusting old man could unsettle his stomach with a mere glance. 

 

Snoke was the one who called him at three forty five. “Ah, Mr. Snoke-” 

 

“Let’s cut the formalities, shall we Armitage?” Hux gulped. He knew he was in for it. “If you do not fix this flaming pile of shit that you’ve allowed to happen then I will fire you and string your entrails around the fence of my golfing range. Do you hear me?”

 

“Yes sir.” Hux gulped. 

 

“Good. I will check up on your progress in two weeks time and if you don’t have anything you will regret being born.”

 

***

 

Ben watched a video of himself being tortured. His mother watched a video of him being tortured. He would’ve been mad that Rey released this, but it seemed that there was a concerted effort to make sure that his face wasn’t visible. Ben needed to clear his head so he went with Poe to pick up groceries for Leia. They were silent for a minute before Poe asked, “So you really don’t remember me do you?” 

 

“Bits and pieces.” Ben told him. “There’s this feeling I have, I know you’re important to me and I know you’re like my brother but the memories just aren’t there.” He couldn’t look Poe in the eye. “I’m sorry.” 

 

“No, dude. It’s okay.” Poe said. He sounded tired, “After everything you’ve been through…” They turned the corner, “I’m just glad that you’re back.” 

 

“Thank you for taking care of my mother.” He really meant that. He could see how Poe kept giving Leia these looks to make sure that she was alright as the night went on. “I really appreciate it.” Poe nodded. 

 

“It was your last wish.” He said, “I wasn’t going to not honour it. I just wish that I got there sooner.” 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“I had jail time for disobedience after I tried to follow the truck you were put in. Four months before I got back to her. I felt horrible.” 

 

“You still got back. That’s all that matters.” They found their way to the convenience store. Something was wrong, Ben wasn’t sure what. But there was a row of cars right in the middle of the parking lot that was all the same model. That didn’t happen. The both of them went into the store and Poe started talking about making dinner for Leia. They were halfway into the pasta aisle when Ben was sure that something was wrong. “I think that we’re being followed.” He said. “Don’t look around. Just get some pasta.” Poe placed a bag of spaghetti pasta in the cart and kept walking. 

 

Everyone’s actions were a little too forced, Ben could see someone touch their hand to their ear and his suspicions were confirmed. Someone pushed into Ben, placing something in his hands. They went down another aisle. There was two ear pieces. Rey’s technology. Ben put one ear piece in. “If you didn’t already know by now, you’re being followed.” It was Rey. He didn’t say anything. “You need to get out of there now, Hux is on sight and I don’t want you or your friend to die so give him the other ear piece and follow my instruction.” Ben did. Despite him being pissed at Rey, she was usually right. She was their best bet. 

 

Ben knew that he wasn’t going to like what happened next. 

***

 

“Put Hux on the phone,” That was never a good sentence to hear. 

 

“Who is this?” The man asked. He was in one of the cars waiting for his team to pick up the rogue android and his friend. 

 

“Rey,” The girl on the other end of the phone said. Hux immediately tensed. “I wanted to talk to you.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Are you an idiot or deaf? I told you that I wanted to talk to you. So let's talk.”

 

“Yes, let’s talk. We’re on sight about to take your pet in. You rebuilt his mind, we can break it again.” Rey was silent for a minute. 

 

“You’re not going to hurt him.” She sounded like she might cry. “Please.”

 

“That’s what I like to hear, now are you planning on turning yourself in or would you like to make me of a scene? I know you do have a flair for the dramatic.”

 

“Speaking of dramatics,” Rey said. “Your men are very incompetent and by the looks of it. So are you.”

 

“What-?”

 

“Check your scanners.” 

 

Kylo Ren has dropped off the man. 

 

“Oopsies. See you later Hux, and tell Snoke that when I see him I'll be the one personally seeing to his vasectomy.”

 

***

 

Ben met another android named Paige. “Hello, Ben Solo.” She said. “I’ve been tasked to take you to the base. My sister has gone to pick up Poe and your mother. They will be going a different route but you’re in safe hands.” Paige pulled out of the parking lot calmly and went down the street. 

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know Rey?”

 

“I’m part of the Resistance.” She said. “Rey liberated me, as she is going to do with everyone else.”

 

“Right.”

 

“I know you’re mad at her.”

 

“How?”

 

“She told me. She was very upset last night. I just want you to know, she’s sorry for what she did. She’s nineteen and makes mistakes. You have to know that.” Ben’s anger was starting to wear down. Being mad at Rey was tiring anyway. 

 

“Why didn't she come here to say that herself?”

 

“She’s not well.” Paige said. “She’s isolating herself. A lot of things happened. I think it’s best if you just… let her explain.”

 

_ Let her explain.  _


	17. since we're talking about the past

“Isolation sometimes means that you have to find an outlet that won’t drive you batshit insane.” Rey said. She was recording her voice on a tape recorder. It was the only thing that wouldn’t get leaked and used against her. “I don’t really know why I’m doing this.” She coughed. She felt like she was going to throw up. “Sorry, yeah. I do. I’m really fucking high right now. But I had to vent somehow and I think it’s just easier this way because at least this way I’m not being toxic to everyone around me.” She sighed, looking at her monitors. Taking a breath when before she began speaking again. “Finn has a new body. I prolonged his suffering again and now I can’t even look at him,” Tape ended.

The ride to the base was going on time, her twitter feed was going crazy. There were actual human protesters rallying in Washington D.C. today. She didn’t ask for that, but she was grateful for that. She was notified of Ben’s arrival when Finn came to her door some time around midnight. “Rey, he’s here.” She didn’t get up. She didn’t go out to meet him.

“Take him to his floor. Tell him he has it all to himself.”

“He wants to see you.”

Rey knew he was lying. “I’m very busy right now.” The door opened. Rey didn’t turn around. “God damn it Finn what did I just - ?” She could tell Ben was right behind her.  _ Don’t turn around.  _

“I’m going to go.”

Rey began typing on her computer, deleting as many arrest records and warrants for the protestors that were sticking their necks out on the line for her. “You can go if you want.” Rey said. “I don’t know why he dragged you here I set up a whole floor to yourself and your family when they get here.” More typing.

“I wanted to see you,” she still hadn’t looked at him. She didn’t want to. It was too painful. “Because I thought we should talk.”  _ Why? _

Rey turned herself around. “You almost got yourself killed.” She didn’t look him in the eye. “Or worse in the hands of Snoke,”

“I don’t know who that is,” he said. “And I’m sorry but I was angry and confused.”

“Rightfully so,” Rey was tired. Really tired. She would take another dose of her meds when he was gone. “Listen it’ll be better if you go. Be with your family. Pretend this stuff is all just noise.” She didn’t look at him, but he could feel her gaze on her, looking her over. He was probably scanning her right now. How disappointed would he be when he figured out that she was high?

Rey turned back to her computers. Shit. The breech she had in the Washington D.C. police database closed. She got up from her seat, grabbing a ponytail holder and tying her hair up. “I’m not going again, Rey.” She went to open one of the doors in her main room and went into the gym. Ben followed her. Of course he did. “Rey, you look sick.” He should be mad at her, he shouldn’t care. She was mad at herself. For everything. 

“I’m fine.” Rey said. She knew that she wasn’t. She hadn’t slept for four days, and when she had slept, it was only because she had passed out from exhaustion. “You don’t have to be here, Ben. I’m serious. You’re free to do whatever you like and you don’t have to feel obligated to stick around because I rebuilt you or whatever.” She grabbed one of her weights, trying to find a way to distract herself. Doing things made this easier. It was almost like obsessing over things made everything else go away. 

“You’re high aren’t you?” 

“Bingo,” 

Rey lifted one of the weights and Ben grabbed it. “Look at me.” He was so close. Rey remembered when he was closer, when he put his arms around her and she felt safe. She felt like she wouldn’t ruin him, but eventually she did. She ruined everything. “Please,” The way he said that broke her. She put the weight down, then turned around. She looked at him, she really looked at him. Those eyes. She missed those eyes. He was staring at her, but the look he gave her wasn’t one of disappointment like she was so used to seeing. 

***

Rey had felt out of place when she first entered a drug den, but she had nowhere else to go. At the time she couldn’t afford any meds to help deal with the fact that her shoulder had been messed up in the car wreck that had nearly ended Finn’s life. She knew that it was a bad idea. That doing this would probably fuck her up even more than she already was, but she needed something to dull the pain. 

Finn didn’t know that she was there. That was fine, because he had people seeking him out for college, wanting to get him a full ride on football scholarships and the cybernetic limbs had helped him improve. He would be busy. He wouldn’t miss her for a few hours. 

But a few hours turned into a few days and Rey was numbed to oblivion and she didn’t check her phone. 

The next thing she knew, Finn was dragging her out of that dingy place crying, yelling at her about how stupid she’d been. He was so disappointed in her that day that Rey never forgot it. She deserved that anyway. All she ever did was disappoint everyone she encountered.

***

“I’m not mad at you anymore, and I’m not leaving.” Ben said. It wasn’t a lie either. He couldn’t be mad at her. Being mad at Rey was just so tiring, and what was the point when she was fucking devastated over what she did anyways? She was punishing herself for what she did, even though Ben understood now. 

He had watched himself be tortured and realized what Rey was trying to do. “I hurt you.” Her eyes were watering, Ben cupped her cheek, tracing circles on her skin with his thumb. Rey closed her eyes. “God, I’m so stupid.” 

“Don’t say that.” He told her, “You’re the most brilliant woman I know.” That’s when she started crying. Ben brought her in closer, putting his arms around her and just holding her until she was still. They stood there for a while. 

“I don’t deserve that,” She said. “Sorry.” She broke free of him first.

“You do, and don’t be.” He looked around, “When’s the last time you ate?” 

“Tuesday, I think.” 

“ _ Rey,”  _

“What?” 

“You haven’t eaten in four days?” 

“What’s the date today?” 

“Saturday,” 

“Well shit. That wasn’t intentional. Just got...distracted I guess.” 

“Where’s the food? You need to eat.” 

“Ben, I’m fine. You don’t have to take care of me, you really don’t.” 

“I saw your fridge near your computer. What do you want?” He could see Rey shuffle uncomfortably. She wasn’t sure what to make of this. “Look don’t be embarrassed, okay? You took care of me, so it’s only fair that I take care of you.” She followed him back to the main room. He opened it, and found a bunch of food that was labeled for the week that Rey hadn’t eaten.  _ What the hell?  _

“Rose made stuff for me, she’s a really good cook I just get distracted and don’t eat.” 

“What do you want?” 

“Whatever’s labeled for saturday is fine.” 

“Lasagna?” 

“Yeah, there’s a microwave right next to-” 

“I can see that. Mind telling me why it’s so dark in this room?” Rey rolled her eyes as she sat back down next to her computer monitor. “Because your eyesight is already shit.” 

“Ha, very funny.” She said. “Energy conservation,” She said, “we may be running a revolution but all lights must be at least dimmed up to six hours a day to reduce our carbon footprint. Plus most models can see in the dark so it’s not a problem,” Something told Ben that she was bullshitting that, but he didn’t press her more on it. He put her lasagna in for the amount of time that the instructions warranted and turned to her. 

“Just a random question?” He was really just trying to distract her, she looked strung out, and she kept tapping the table like she was waiting for him to leave. There was a pill bottle not far away from her. “Why haven’t you created some sort of solution that improves eye vision? I mean don’t get me wrong, I love seeing you in glasses but if you’re going to be straining your eyes like this constantly.”

“I already have,” 

“Really?”

“Glasses hold sentimental value,” Rey said. 

“Really?” He took the lasagna out of the microwave, got a fork and handed it to Rey. She started eating almost immediately, muttering something under her breath. When she was done scarfing down the lasagna, she put the Tupperware container to the side and looked back at her computer. 

“Yeah, Finn picked these frames for me. Four years ago.” Ben swallowed. 

“Oh,” 

“It’s stupid.” She said. “I keep talking about him like he’s dead but he’s out there liberating androids and trying to get me to talk to him in a body that looks the exact same as his old one.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t dump on you. Your mother and Poe just arrived. You should go.” 

“I can find them later. I don’t want to leave you alone right now.” 

She shook her head, “You literally just found them, Ben. You need to go be with them right now.” 

“They don’t know,” Ben said, “about the torture.” Rey sighed. “I lied to them about it. I think my mom knows that this isn’t my first body. That I’m not...human anymore.” 

“You’re as human as they come,” Rey said, “I think therefore I am,” 

“Richard Descartes.” 

“Yes.” She blinked. “I get why you didn’t tell them though, it’s hard, knowing that someone you love was hurt like that.” She paused, looked up at him and smiled. “And I get wanting to protect your family from that too, that way they don’t look at you like a victim. But you should tell them,” 

“I know,” 

“When you’re ready, it helps you move past the things that have happened to you. The things that have happened in the past.” She closed her eyes, “I learned about more about your missing time in Herat when you were gone.” Ben tensed. “Hux wasn’t the only person that was your handler,” 

“What?” 

“There’s another man. Obadiah Snoke. There were things that he did to you that I don’t have video on but other people that were in Herat can validate the story.” 

***

Rey told him everything. There were tears and silence and he nodded, there was this burning rage that she could see in him when she told him everything she knew about Snoke and what he did to Ben, which wasn’t a lot. Some time in it, Ben switched off. She could see the emotion in his eyes leave and she knew that he had flipped the switch in his head. When she was done, he took a deep breath in. “Okay,” He said. “Thank you for telling me.” The emotion came back. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” He lead her to one of the rooms she had a bed in, “but since we’re talking about the past. I think that maybe you should tell me more about yours when you’re ready. So I know the best way to help.” She nodded and got in bed  with him, pulling the covers tight.

“I’ll tell you everything.” She said, “Tomorrow.” 


	18. advancing the cause

**Can young people really lead a rebellion?**

 

A lot of news outlets are attributing praises to Rey like she’s some sort of genius, but they forget that Rey is only nineteen years old, and most nineteen year olds are participating in ridiculous challenges like the infamous Tide Pod challenge or complaining about college debt...

  
  
  


***

 

Ben and Rey had been cuddling for a bit, rather unsuccessfully. Rey was fidgeting a lot and finally got up. Ben attributed it to her high, and didn’t say anything at first, until he realized she was about to go take another dose of whatever she was taking. “What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“Oh nothing.” Rey waved him off. “My shoulder’s just hurting.” 

“Why? Do you need another pillow?” 

“No, just got shot there and sometimes the pain flares up.” Ben’s eyes widened and he got up. 

“Wait? What?” He stopped her in front of the door to her main room. “You were shot?” It seemed like every single moment he spent with her the more he regretted leaving her.

“Yeah,” She said, “not like it’s the first time.” She was about to open the door when he closed it again. He was staring at her, a mixture of awe and horror on his face. 

“It wasn’t the first time.” Rey rolled her eyes and shook her head, muttering something about Ben not letting her medicate under her breath. Then she did something that Ben didn’t expect to happen, she pulled her shirt down. 

“You see that. That’s where I was shot when Hux’s men invaded my house.” Then she pulled her shirt up. “This is the first place I’ve ever been shot. And somewhere on my back is where I got shot by one of my own inventions on accident.” 

“Shit,” Rey went back to the bed. “I’ve never told anyone about the first time that I got shot,” She said. “Do you want to hear it?” Ben nodded, he wasn’t sure what this story was going to be like. “I was sixteen,” she said. “It was right after the car crash. I was getting my prescription and walking home. I was in a really bad part of the neighborhood. This asshole tries to steal my meds and pulls a gun on me. I made a mistake, pulled a knife on him. He shot me, left me for dead, Finn was still in a coma at that point.”  _ Shit.  _ “This old woman, her name was Maz, she found me and called 911 and stayed with me when I was bleeding out. I lived and she adopted me. I was happy for a while. Then she died and left her money to me. I built everything I have now off of that?”

“How much was it?”

“Twenty thousand dollars.” She said. 

“Holy shit, Rey.” 

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t think I would get to be the richest person in the world. I just wanted to get off the streets.”

“You’re amazing,”

“Not really,”

“Yeah, really. You fucking turned into the richest person in the world in three years. You did that. You created life.” He didn’t know why she didn’t see that. “You did that Rey. No one else.”

“Then I let everyone get enslaved by the government.”

“Because you were scared out of your fucking mind.”

Rey was silent. Ben sat down next to her, “I can help you get clean.” He said. “If you tell me what you’re taking and how much, I can help.”

“You shouldn’t have to,”

“I want to.” Rey was silent again.

“Okay,” 

***

Hux knew that if he told Snoke that he lost Kylo, he would lose his job, and possibly die. So he pulled out all the stops, blasted Kylo’s face across the news, said that he was wanted for terrorism. Whatever would find him. He had to find him. 

***

“Hey, Ben I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah,” 

“You have a tracker embedded in you, government protocol. I want to take it out.” Rey said. 

“Okay,” 

“But that’s going to require that I operate on you.” She could see him freeze. “It’s a fifteen minute procedure, but your model is embedded just behind the ear and if you want it taken out properly I need you out.” He nodded, opting to go around her room and straighten it up. “I’ll think about it,” he said. 

“You should go to your family,” Rey said. “I’ll be fine. I have things to do. Come back to me when you’ve decided.” He looked back at her. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, I’m sure.” She smiled, obviously trying to convince him. It didn’t really work, but he went anyway. He needed to see Leia and Poe, to explain this mess that he had gotten them into by letting them know he was alive. 

Rey wasn’t lying when she had things to do, and the first was to take a shower. She smelled awful, and wondered why Ben hadn’t mentioned it earlier. Once she was done, she actually went out, which must’ve been surprising to well, everyone. She got a few looks, and at one point, Rose joined her. She was practically skipping with joy when she saw her. 

“Oh my goodness, you’re up. Great. There’s something that I’ve been working on that I need to show you.” She said. Rey was about to protest, tell her that she had other things that she needed to attend to, but Rose pulled her into one of offices with tons of monitors lining them. They were all on news stations. 

“Androids speak out,” One of them read. Then Rey saw the protesters. There was a rally of androids and cyborgs and no one was getting arrested or decommissioned, because cameras were on everyone. No, there was some other element. Rey looked to one of the other screens. “All guns in D.C. deactivated within a mile radius of all androids.” Shit. 

“The technology is still ongoing and there’s failsafes but…”

“This is genius.” Rey told her. Then she turned, hugged her, and said, “I have to go, but keep working at it. You’re doing a good job.”

***

Ben had gone to Leia and Poe and knew they were going to be confused, he knew that things would be hard to explain, but he had to, what he didn’t expect when he told them was Leia to say, “I knew it was you in the video.” Ben blinked. 

“What?” Leia looked like she was going to cry, Poe was quiet. 

“I knew.” She whispered quietly, “and I could tell that you were trying to protect me when you said it wasn’t you.”

“I want to talk to Rey,” Poe said. 

“What?”

“I want to talk to Rey.”

“She’s busy.”

“She’ll make an exception,” Poe headed to the elevator faster than Ben could catch up to him. The doors closed and he wasn’t sure what Poe was going to do, but he could only imagine. 

“He’s been talking about this the whole ride here.” Leia said tiredly. “He wants to join.”

*** 

Rey was interrupted going to a meeting by none other than Poe Dameron. She had no idea how he got there, considering that only a certain security clearance could get up to the meeting room she was headed to, but when she heard someone calling her name she turned. 

“You’re her, aren’t you?” She nodded. She was debating whether or not she should have security called. “I need to talk,”

“I don’t.” She said. “I have a meeting and you’re wasting my time.” 

She wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he sort of laughed and looked around awkwardly. “Come on this will just take five minutes.”

“Fine.” She said. “Go,”

“I want to join the Resistance,”

“No,”

“What?”

“Are we done?”

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean no. Now go away.”

“But-”

“You’re Ben Solo’s friend.” She said, trying to let him off easy. “and therefore I will not be the reason you die because if I have to watch him go through any more pain than he’s already gone to, I will snap. So the answer is no. Now if you excuse me, I need to go.” 

“I will convince you.”

“Sure you will.”

***

“She said no,” Poe said as he came off the elevator. “Didn’t even give me a chance.” Ben looked up from his seat in the lounge room. “Your girlfriend cares more about you than advancing her cause.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” 

***

Ben ended up on Rey’s door that night. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll do the procedure.”


	19. Mission

The procedure went by swimmingly, as Rey knew it would be. The biggest hurdle was getting past Ben’s anxiety. Once that was done she took the tracker out and rolled him back to her room and got a popsicle for him and waited for him to come back on, he did. Blinking silently. He looked alarmed for a second but then he saw Rey, and she held out the popsicle. “Popsicle?” She asked. He took it from her. He touched the back of his ear, where Rey had made the incision. No scar. “I wanted to make sure you woke up somewhere you were comfortable.” She told him, “and not a cold operating room,” He nodded, bit into his popsicle and when he was done he threw it out. “You okay?” 

 

“Yeah,” He said. “Yeah, just sorta rebooting without the tracker there. Give me a minute.” Rey nodded and spun around in her chair. Once he was ready he got up, and smiled down at her. “Thank you.” He said. “For making me feel safe.”

 

“You deserve to feel safe.” Rey smiled up at him, grabbing his hand and rubbing circles in it. “Never forget that. You deserve to feel safe, you deserve to be happy.”

 

Ben felt his heart rate rise again. He didn’t know why. Rey smiled and god, it was the best thing in the world. Ben saved this moment. 

 

Sadly, it was interrupted. Rey was called to a meeting and Ben was left doing nothing. He wanted to help. He wanted to help so bad. Rey came back a few hours later and she looked beat. 

 

She went to her computer, she was obviously looking for something. “Ben?” 

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“Where are my pills?” 

 

“I took them,” he said. She turned sharply. “Relax I didn’t throw them away.” He said. He handed her a small pill box with four capsules in it. 

 

“This isn’t enough.”

 

“That’s all you’re getting.” He said. She glared at him for a minute before looking deflated and opening the pill box. “You’ll thank me later.” She nodded. 

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s fine.” She took the pills. Ben didn’t tell her that one of them was a placebo. “Can we just lay down?”

 

“Yeah.” He swallowed thickly, of course. Laying down with Rey was different this time, he wasn’t sure why. He was so aware of the softness of her skin, tempted to lift his hand up and under her shirt and just touch her. Feel her underneath him. He hadn’t realized that that was exactly what he was doing until Rey fidgeted for a second. “Sorry.” 

 

“No,” she said. “I liked that.” 

 

***

 

There were so many things that Rey had to do, her mind was whirring and she itched for the meds that Ben had promised to get her off of. She needed something to do, badly. She got up, it was three in the morning. She didn’t care. She was hot and sweating and the sound of Bea Miller’s  _ song like you  _ and rhythmic beating of her punching bag drowned all of that out. 

 

She didn’t know how long she had been going until Ben turned off the music. “It’s been three hours, Rey. You need something to eat.” She took off her boxing gloves like nothing happened and nodded. Ben handed her a tupperware container with mac and cheese in it.  She ate it way too fast and then got dressed and took her contacts out, putting her glasses on. 

 

She and Ben were about to walk out of their room when she was immediately presented with Poe in front of her. “Reconsider,” 

 

“No,” she rolled her eyes and waited for Ben to get out of her room before closing the door behind her. “Don’t you have like five gaming systems down there? Why do you keep coming up here?” Ben was silent, standing behind Rey. 

 

“Because I’m stubborn.”

 

“So is she,” Ben said tiredly. 

 

“Dude, why won’t you tell her that I’ll be okay fighting with you guys? I’m ex Black Ops. I can take care of myself.” 

 

Rey rolled her eyes and started walking. “Rey, he’s gonna annoy you until you give him what you want.” She didn’t say anything. She was going to the gun range. When she got there with Ben and Poe behind her she found the biggest gun she had built. 

 

“Holy fucking shit,” Poe said when she dumped it in his hands. 

 

“Red button to fire.”

 

He nodded and went to line up to hit the target. Ben raised an eyebrow.  _ Wait,  _ she mouthed. Poe fired the gun and the reverb knocked him flat on his ass. Rey grabbed the gun and handed it to Ben. He fired it from where he was and he was still standing. Bullseye. Rey walked up to Poe, held out her hand. She helped him up. “You fire this without being knocked flat on your ass and you’ve got a deal. Until then, the answer is no.”

 

“What? That is so not fair. That thing is built for androids.”

 

“Yeah no shit,” 

 

“What about other weapons?”

 

“Like what?” 

 

“Droids. Planes. Aerial weapons. Something.” 

 

Rey looked to Ben. “Give him a chance, Rey.” That face. That fucking face. The pout that his lower lip came into. Rey nearly died. 

 

“Fine. You’re in.  _ But you will wait on the floor in which you were assigned until I have time to brief you.”  _

 

Rey had other problems to deal with at the moment. 

 

***

 

Hux had a plan. Just before Kylo’s tracker had gone completely dead, there was a blip on the radar. 

 

From there he was able to triangulate his location within a fifty mile radius. 

 

It wasn’t much, but it was something. He was closing in. 

 

***

 

Androids who had protested were getting kidnapped. Not decommissioned, but kidnapped. Hux was spotted on scene on one of their cameras. He was frighteningly close to their base. First mission. Rey briefed Poe. Ben had wanted to go to. Wanted to protect Poe. She said yes. God as soon as he left, she regretted saying yes. She paced up and down the meeting room, thinking, thinking, thinking. 

 

She didn’t expect his mother to come looking for him. “He’s on a mission.” Rey said. “And I’m sorry Miss Organa, but you’re not supposed to be here.”


	20. breakdowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yall are gonna hate me for this

Rey usually had herself composed when things went wrong on missions. Things rarely ever went wrong, and Rey blamed herself for it when things did go wrong, like she always did. She didn’t see Hux coming until it was too late. And now Ben was gone. 

***

Ben couldn’t remember anything of the mission, he just woke up restrained in the back of a large van. There was a partition dividing him from his captor, Armitage Hux. “Your memory saves are quite interesting.” Hux said. Ben tried to ignore him, fixating on his immaculate suit, on the speck of blood on his collar.  “I love how you’ve managed to lock us out of the geodata encrypted in your memories so we couldn’t find the little whore you’ve hooked up with.” Ben squirmed. He knew that Hux was trying to get a rise out of him, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. “But that’s besides the point.” The van was bumpy and Ben hit his head on the back of the roof. “Delete all the memory saves you have involving your family, and Rey, and all of this will be forgiven.” 

Ben’s head was reeling, usually when someone told him to alter his memory he couldn’t help but do that. Not today. Ben shook his head. “Delete the saves,” Hux repeated. 

“No,” Ben replied. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You don’t control me anymore,” Ben told him. “You’re never going to control me again.” Hux blinked for a second, and then his face contorted into this ugly mixture between a grimace and a smile. Ben found himself filling with dread. 

“You know, I thought you would say that. I’m rather glad you said that too.” 

“Is that so?” 

“I missed our time together in Herat. I get to do that to you all over again and the great thing is it’ll be like you’re experiencing it for the first time. I will break you and bring you to Snoke again.”  _ Memory saved.  _

“No you won’t.” Ben said. “I’m not going back there.” 

“You don’t have a choice in the matter.” At that, Ben’s anger flared up in a way that it never had before. It was monstrous, and loud, and came in one explosive burst. His leg jutted out, kicking the glass as hard as it could, there was a loud beeping sound coming from his cuffs, Ben saw jets of electricity trying to subdue him, but not working. He couldn’t feel a goddamned thing. 

_ I want to give you an update. Make you more resistant to electrical attacks, and simulated torture.  _ Rey’s voice rang through his head. Once again he was grateful that she was leaps and bounds smarter than him. He kicked again, and a gaping hole was left in the partition. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get very far when the van stopped. That wasn’t his goal though. His goal was to scare the shit out of Hux, and it worked. 

***

The first thing that Rey did when Poe got back was backhand him. She didn’t say anything, she couldn’t. Her tongue was thick in her throat and she was trying her hardest not to panic.  _ She lost him. She lost him. She lost him.  _ Anger was culminating in her, along with anxiety, and intense fear. She was scared, so scared. Then Finn was there and she was pulling her off him.  He got her back to her room before she went limp, and collapsed on him. She let out the most horrible scream that she could manage. “I know,” Finn said. “I know.”

 

Rey was shaking. She pushed herself off him, Finn shouldn’t have to be clean up duty. Not again. She did this over and over and over and over again. She started looking all over her room for her pills again. “They’re not here, Rey.” Rey bit her lip. “He had them when he went out.”

 

“I can go get more.” Finn blocked the door. She hadn’t looked at him. She hadn’t really looked at him at all in the longest time. “Finn, move.”

 

“No,”

 

“Finn.”

 

“Rey, I’m done seeing you act like this. I’m not moving.” she stood there, not looking at him. “Look at me, Rey.” 

 

She did. 

 

“We are going to find Ben, okay?” Those same eyes that used to reassure her so often looked back at her. “But you need to be sober for it, okay? You can do this, peanut. I know.” Rey’s face crumpled, her hands balling into fists. 

 

“I fucked up.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” He said. 

 

“Yes it was. It all is.”

***

Ben was knocked out again, and woke up in some abandoned warehouse. Everything was too bright. Too cold. He was strapped down tenfold. “We’ve done some experiments since you destroyed my car.” Hux said. Ben closed his eyes shut. He hated his voice, hated it. “None of which you were present for. Since electrical sessions don’t seem to do it for you, I’ve devised something else that’ll keep you company for long enough.” Ben felt a needle slide in his forearm. Sticky pads were placed on his head. He didn’t give Hux the satisfaction of hearing him scream. 

 

“Did you know that simulated torture pinpoints the manufactured safehouse that Rey put in each android’s mind? That place you go when you need to ignore all other torture. Simulated torture breaks it down. Makes it impossible to go to, and that, my friend is what you are about to experience. Once you’re back in line and serve the government again, we can deal with the memory saves and how we’re going to dispose of your harlet.” Ben was shaking.  _ Don’t say a thing.  _ “Are you ready for simulation one?”

 

***

Rey felt like she was going insane. She stayed to her room so she didn’t have to see anyone. Her skin was crawling and she threw up twice in the past hour. 

 

“They're going to find him.” Finn kept reassuring her. He couldn’t be positive though, no one could. He was off the maps and every fucking tracker she had on Hux wasn't showing up. 

 

Fuck. 

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck.

 

Rey went to work out. She ended up splitting her punching bag. 

She came back. Paced. 

"Rey, he's going to be fine."

"Don't tell me that unless you know for sure."


	21. the simulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simulated torture: much like Virtual Reality, a program is displayed that can bring out an android's worst fears, ultimately leads to insanity. Still in the works.

    “What are you doing to him right now?”

    “Presenting him with altered reality, a simulation.” Hux informed Snoke. “To break him back into submission.”

    “And you’re sure that it’s going to work this time?”

    “Yes,”

    “You know what’s on the line?”

    “Yes.”

    “I’m glad you’re going to deliver. Bring him to me when he’s compliant. I want to see my prize possession.” Hux was almost disgusted. Almost. “Until then I have business to attend to in D.C., see you then.”

    “Yes, sir.”

***

 

**The Simulation**

 

    Ben woke up to silence. He struggled at his restraints for a moment before he broke free, and really got to look at everything around him. He was in an operating room, but the doctors were nowhere to be seen. Ben blinked several times. There were blood stains all over the floor. That didn’t make sense, but Ben decided not to question it right now. He detached himself from everything else and got up. His legs were shaky at first, but he got used to it. The operating room only had one entrance and exit. Ben opened the door, expecting to need to fight someone off, but Rey was there instead. She held a gun in her hand and didn’t have her glasses on. “Kylo!” She exclaimed, “You’re awake.” She called him Kylo. Something was wrong. He was too tired to ask about it right now though.

    “Yeah,” He said, “when did you get here?”

    “Just a few minutes ago,” She said. “I was going to clear the room before I woke you up but you woke up yourself so, let’s go.” She grabbed him and started pulling him along with her. At some point she was joined by Poe and Finn. Ben wasn’t sure when they got into a van, but they did, and Rey was briefing some androids he’d never seen before about things he wasn’t informed of. He didn’t really care though, he was tired. He was so tired. Finally when she was done, she sat next to Ben, and let him put his head on her lap. “We’re going to a safe house.” She said, “You and me, no one else.” He nodded and closed his eyes.

    His vision whited out, and for a moment, he saw things flash before his eyes. War, him and Poe in the field, but this time things were different. Ben didn’t die alone. Poe died too. But he wasn’t taken in the truck with Ben.

    Operation. Suddenly Ben remembered everything about being transferred to an android body. It was still him, but stronger, a lot stronger. His mind was more open though. Anyone could go into it and change what they wanted to.

    “Hey, wake up.” Ben pushed himself up off Rey. All the androids were gone, Ben and Rey were the only ones in the truck.

    “Sorry,”

    “It’s okay.” She said. “It’s okay. Come on, let’s get you inside.” She took his hand again. God, Ben loved it when she did that. But something felt off. Like touching her wasn’t as _real_ as it normally was. She took him inside the safehouse, which looked more like an expensive loft apartment to him. She closed the door behind her and went to go get something. A fresh pair of clothes. “Here you go.” He took them gratefully and went to the bathroom to change. He came back a minute later in pajamas. This time Rey’s hair was down and she was in a tank top, and shorts. “You okay?” She asked.

    “Yeah,” He said. “Yeah,” Rey nodded and brought him back to her bedroom.

“You should get some rest,” Rey told him. She smiled a little at him and Ben found himself forgetting about everything. Rey was about to go when he asked her to stay.  

“You should stay.” She did. She crawled into bed with him. Rey pressed into him. He wished that he could touch her, let her kiss him. As if Rey could hear his thoughts, she turned over, staring at him.

“I need to tell you something,” She said.

“Okay,”

“I wanted to tell you for a while that I like you,” She bit her lip. “And I’ve wanted to tell you that for a while. I just… I finally got the courage to do it after I found you.” She said. “And you don’t have to like me back, it’s fine.”

He was silent for a minute before saying, “I’ve liked you for a while.” He said. “A long while.”  They were silent for a moment before he said, “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”  Rey took that as her cue. She lifted herself up on her elbows, and Ben turned so he could get a better angle. The kiss was soft and chaste and shy, and Ben hungered for more. He returned the kiss, hoping that he was doing this right. They wrestled in bed for a minute before Ben ended up on top of Rey.

She looked so beautiful. She always had, but as Ben was kissing her, he had that same feeling. Everything was just...off. He got up off of her. She looked a little disappointed, but got up with him. “You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah,” He lied. “I just need to splash water on my face or something.” Rey nodded and he went to the bathroom again, locking the door behind him. He felt like he was suffocating, experiencing too many things at once. He didn’t know what to do. He ran the water so Rey wouldn’t suspect something was wrong. Ben had the sudden need to look in the drawers beneath the sink.

There he found a gun and some C4. What would he need that for? _Kill her._ “No,” he said. His vision whited out again. This time it was Rey, looking at all the videos of him, her eyes were glassy and her cheeks were red. “No.” He said again. He dropped the gun and C4 back in the drawer when he heard a tiny knock at the door. Ben opened it. It was Rey. She had one hand on the door and she leaned in just a little. Her hair was a bit messy.

“Everything okay?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Ben lied. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Rey offered Ben a small smile. “Come back to bed, Ren. Everything will be okay.” Again with the name. Ben nodded and let her take him back to bed.

That morning Rey wasn’t there. She left a little sticky note saying that she would be back later, she had gone out to get breakfast for the both of them. Ben paced around for a minute. Fuck it. Ben traced her. He traced her and at the time he didn’t have any problem with what he was doing. She was at this eatery with Finn, talking in hushed tones, but he could hear her loud and clear. “I think there’s something wrong with him.” Rey said. “He seems scared of everything.”

“We don’t even know what Hux did to him, peanut.” Finn told her. “He’s not just going to be normal right off the bat.”

“Yeah I know.” Rey squirmed a little. “He just sort of scares me right now, I don’t know if I can trust him.” That’s when Ben decided to step in.

“Are you talking about me?” Rey nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Kylo, what are you doing here?”

“I got worried and tracked you here-”

“You tracked me.” Rey deadpanned. Ben was reeling. He tracked her. That was a massive breach of privacy. Especially when she said that she was just going out for breakfast. “Finn, take him outside. I’m going to get our order.”

Rey looked disappointed. “Come on, bud. Let’s go.” Finn escorted Ben outside and they waited. “It’s okay you know?”

“I don’t want to talk.” Finn nodded, and they stood there in silence until Rey got out. She held a bag out to Ben. It was labeled bacon wrap. “Thanks,”

“We need to get going,” Rey said. “I think one of the assholes in the restaurant alerted the authorities of our position.” Ben nodded, following Rey and Finn down the street. There it was again, that annoying white flash. This time it left him disoriented for a while, when he came to it was night time, and Rey was telling him to run. He was so confused, but he did. That’s when memories begin to fill in in his head. Blood. So much blood. Finn, Poe, Amilyn, _his mother._ He was a monster. He was a monster, oh god, he was a monster. There was a gun in his hand. _Kill her, kill her, kill her._ It became clear to Ben that they were being hunted by authorities.

They ducked into an alleyway and Ben stopped her. “Ren, we got to keep going.” She said. “They’re about to catch us.”

“No,” He said, “I can’t go on anymore. I hurt too many people.”

“Kylo,” He was repulsed at that name. Why did she keep saying that name? “We can get out of here.”

“Rey, what if I hurt you?” She blinked for a second, staring at him. “I already hurt your friends. Your cause.”

“I don’t care, Kylo. We just have to go, please. We can talk about this later but we need to go, I can’t lose you.”

Ben shook his head no, and stepped away from her, aiming the gun in his hand at his head. “No, Rey.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m broken, I can’t hurt you. I don’t know what I would do if…” His stomach was nauseous at the thought of her blood on his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“We can work this out later,”

“Rey, do you know what a safe place is like an android?” She was silent. “It’s like fucking salvation for the pain we go through. And when I was being tortured by Hux, experimented on, again and again and again. You were my safe place.” Her eyes were glassy, hands shaking. “I can’t jeopardize that.” He said. With that, he took the safety off the gun. “I love you.” He fired before she had the chance to say anything.

***

“Again?” Hux asked. He was starting to get pissed off. “How many times has he killed himself in the simulation?”

“Four hundred, sixty eight. All to stop himself from hurting Rey. No matter what situation we put him in.” Hux gritted his teeth.

“Run it again.”

“I’m not sure he can handle another sim today, Sir.”

“Run it again.” Hux repeated. “Run it over and over and over until the result is one that we want. You hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

***

Rey had split yet another punching bag when Rose came to her with a large file. “Miss?”

“Yes,” Rey was out of breath and itching and hot.

“I think I may have found where Ben’s located.” She said. “You’re not going to like it.” Rey tensed.

“Where is he?”

“Herat, miss. He’s in Herat.”


	22. this is real

Six thousand, four hundred and seventy two times. Ben killed himself six thousand, four hundred and seventy two times when the doors to the base in Herat were blasted open, the bulletproof material was crushed to a pulp, and large, overpowered guns killed every man that was in the vicinity. The sim counter read 6,427.5 when Rey found him, and she began frantically unhooking him from all the large, metallic contraptions he was hooked up to. Hux wasn’t dead yet. He was still somewhere on base, but Ben was her focus. “Ben, wake up. Wake up, please.” His eyes fluttered and Rey nearly cried. He looked so confused. “Ben, it’s me.” Her hands were on his face, cupping his cheeks. “It’s Rey.” Ben blinked. 

 

“Rey?” 

 

“Yeah.” She helped him up. “It’s me. Come on,” He got up, looking dazed. “I’m here to get you out,” She stepped over one of the people who had been operating his sim, and grabbed the gun from their holster. “Come on,” She took his hand in her free hand and pulled him back the way she came. He was shaking. 

 

***

 

_ The simulation was getting better.  _ Ben thought. When Rey woke him up from whatever hell he was going through at the moment, and started pulling him down the hallway. This was different, but he knew it would end the same way. 

 

A situation would arise in which Ben would have to hurt her, and Ben couldn’t let that happen, not again. Ben stopped. Rey noticed immediately. “What are you doing?” She asked. 

 

“I can’t do this.”

 

“What?” Ben found a stray handgun on the floor, Rey flipped out and aimed it at his head like he had so many times. “Ben, put that down.”

 

“No. This isn’t real.” Rey went quiet for a second. “Rey, listen. I know this is a simulation. They keep playing this thing to try and get me to kill you and I can’t. I can’t.”

 

“Ben,” her tone was breathy. She was shaking too. 

 

“Rey, the purpose was to break my safeplace. That safe place was you. But I don’t know if I have one anymore.” He turned off the safety. “I’ll see you in the next simulation.” Before he could pull the trigger, Rey reloaded the gun she had in her hand and pointed it at her own head. That hadn’t happened before. 

 

“Okay, Ben.” She said. “We can do it together.”

 

That wasn’t supposed to happen. It never did. Ben felt tears brim in his eyes, his chin wobbled ever so slightly. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m going to do it with you,” she said. “Because if you pull that trigger you destroy every memory we’ve shared together. I’m not going to live in a world where you don’t know who I am or how much I love you.” Ben blinked. She never said that either. “If this is a simulation, it shouldn’t matter. Right? If this is real life...well… I’ve never believed in an afterlife but I’m kinda hoping there is one. If you were there…”

 

Ben was shaking.  _ No, no, no.  _ He couldn’t do it. 

 

He lowered his gun, dropping it to the floor. Rey put the safety back on hers and holstered it. He didn’t know what to do. He was so tired, but when he collapsed into Rey and started crying, she held him up. “I’m here now.” She said. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get here sooner.” He didn’t say anything. Just wrapped his arms around her. 

 

Her touch felt good, real. It grounded him. He had to get up, he had to move. He got up off her and she took his hand again. They started moving. 

***

 

Rey was going to kill Hux. She had already made her mind up. She had already figured out how she was going to do it too,  she took Ben out where Paige, Poe, and Finn waited. Poe had one knee on top of Hux and one hand on his face, keeping him down on the ground. “Ben!” Poe shouted. He looked like he was going to move to go hug him but remembered where he was. 

 

“You can get off him,” Rey said blankly. He did and Rey took him by the back of the collar and got up. “Ben do you want to help me?”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Making sure Hux gets the right punishment for terrorizing you. Want to come?” Ben came with her, back to the bed where she had found him strapped up. Hux was screaming. Rey forced him down on the table and Ben helped strap him down. He was still thrashing everywhere and Rey had enough of it. She grabbed him by the chin and squeezed as hard as she could. “Look at me.” She said. “Look at me.” Finally he did. His eyes bulging. 

 

“This is insane. You’re a terrorist.”

 

“And you torture people to get off at night, you’re not any better.” She reached into her pocket, pulling out two circular disk looking things. “Do you remember these?” She asked. 

 

“You wouldn't,”

 

“Ben take off his shoes.” Ben did. “These,” Rey said, “are the exact things you use to torture Ben that first day. The first one. It took me a bit but I found them and purchased them.” She took her hand off his chin and applied them both to his feet. “Now, to a normal human body the amount of electricity you pumped through Ben will make you lose all feeling in your legs in five minutes and in ten minutes you’ll lose control of every muscle in your body. In twenty you’ll be dead.” Hux’s body arched in painful ways as electricity started going through him. “Have a nice night.” She said. She beckoned for Ben to follow her. He did. 

 

“Thank you,” He said quietly. 

 

“No problem.” She answered. “Now come on, we have to get to the helicopter.”

 

“There’s a helicopter?”

 

“Yeah, couldn’t exactly land my jet around here now could I?”

 

“Right.” He gave her a small laugh. It was so inviting to hear, especially after five weeks of him missing. “By the way, where are we?”

 

“Afghanistan.” She said. He went silent. “I know,” Rey said. “That’s why we’re going home.” The four choppers Rey had were out and everyone else got loaded into the other. Paige got into the pilot’s seat of the first one, and Ben and Rey got in the back, alone. “This is real. You’re safe with me.” Ben nodded as he strapped himself in. The loud sounds of the helicopter blades drowning out his thoughts. He kept Rey’s hand in his.  _ This was real. He was going home.  _

 

***

 

The chopper ride was silent and Rey knew it was because Ben was tired. She held his hand and held it hard, but she didn’t look at him. After all this time, agonizing over organizing a team and getting him, he was finally back. Relief flooded over her and so did something else. It was a feeling that she wasn’t used to but she liked it. They went to the jet and sat up front, alone again. 

“I was so worried.” Rey said. “I haven’t been able to eat much without throwing up.” She wasn’t sure why she told him that. 

 

“Are you still?”

 

“For now the withdrawals have gotten less  _ awful _ .” He nodded. 

 

“That’s good.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry that I didn’t see Hux coming.”

 

“It isn’t your fault.”

 

“I feel like it is.”

 

“Rey, it isn’t.” Ben said. “You saved me. Again.” Rey tried her best to smile for him. She really did. A little bit of blush rose to her face and Ben was reminded again just how beautiful she was. She fixed her glasses and Ben bit his lip. “I need to tell you something.” Now was a weird time, but the one thing that came out of the simulations was knowing that he had to tell her. 

 

“Okay,” 

 

Ben didn’t know how to word it. So he just said it. “A while back, at the house, I asked Finn what a crush was.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah, because I was having these weird feelings you know? About you. And I didn’t know what it was and I just…”  Rey cut him off, leaning over in her seat and pressing her lips to his. This kiss was deeper, more desperate, like they were both trying to find air and they were drowning. Eventually Rey’s glasses got in the way and she pulled off, giggling. “So you like me too?” Ben asked. Her eyes softened.

 

“Of course.” She said. “Of course.”


	23. back to the war

Most of Ben’s return was quiet, per Ben’s request. Leia cried and hugged him for at least an hour, but for the most part the only person who saw Ben was Rey. He was so quiet, sometimes she almost forget that he was there. There would be sometimes that he would start crying in the middle of the night and Rey hated it so much. She didn’t know how to help him and she was so busy. At night, he would hold her tight and she would tell him that she was never going to let him go, that everything was going be okay. There were some times that she couldn’t. Now being one of those. 

“Mitaka.” She said. “So nice to finally meet you.” He was stuck in a faraday cage with just Rey, and she was ready to do something that she normally didn’t. “I heard that you were one of the doctors that worked on Ben Solo, Rose and Paige Tico, Amilyn Holdo, and so many more and I would honestly like to get a chance to talk to you.” 

“Please, don’t do anything. I’ll give you whatever you want.” He was a blubbering mess. “They forced me to do experiments.” 

“Right.” She said. “Obadiah Snoke. Everything you know about him, now.” 

“No, just not that.” He told her. “He’ll kill me.” 

“I don’t think that you’re grasping the gravity of the situation, Mitaka.” Rey turned, staring at him blankly. She didn’t feel any compassion for him whatsoever at this point. “If you don’t give me what I want I can make your life an everloving hell, until you’re begging on your hands and knees for me to kill you. I don’t even have to torture you to do it, so, what shall it be?” The man was silent for a minute before Rey took a step towards him, and he started to cry again. 

“What could you do to me that he can’t?” 

“I could publish that information about the affair you had with that Russian prostitute last month. Your wife just had a baby girl, didn’t she? I could also send someone to go take the both of them until you cooperate with my terms. Could pay someone to come forward about allegations of sexual abuse, which honestly as a politician you probably have somewhere in your closet of skeletons.” Mitaka talked, Rey knew that he would. To a politician, their job was everything. He told Rey where Snoke stored offshore money, how to access it. The places he frequented the most, his last phone conversation with the man, a few complaints about sexual misconduct that were swept under the rug that could be pretty incriminating, collusion, racism, the whole shebang. Rey recorded everything he said. “Thank you for being so cooperative, Mitaka. My team is going to do a deep fact check on everything you’ve said and once we confirm that everything you said was true, you will be a free man again. Thank you for your cooperation.” 

With that, Rey left the room. She knew that some of the things she said were technically playing things unfair, but this was war. She had to play things unfair. 

Rey went back to her room, seeing Ben sitting on the bed, his head hanging in his hands. “Are you okay?” She asked. He looked up at her and nodded tiredly. 

“Just tired,” He told her. “Missed you.” Rey smiled weakly and sat down on the bed next to him. 

“I missed you too.” She said. “Is there anything I can do to help?” She could make him forget the simulations. Just a way to erase the effects of PTSD. 

“No,” He said. “I want to keep the save.” 

“Why?” 

“Because we could use it later, as evidence against  _ them  _ when we get to the point of getting a bill on the Supreme Court to free other androids.” Rey nodded. 

“Okay,” She told him. “I get that. I do.” She moved closer to him. “You know this is real, by the way. Right?” 

“Yeah,” He grabbed her hand. “I do,” They were silent for a moment, Ben stared into her eyes with this intense gaze that he always had. “You make everything worth it, you know that?” 

Rey started blushing. “You don’t have to say that.” 

“I mean it though,” He said, “and I wanted to say that.” 

“You mean everything to me.” Rey told him. “You make me forget the horrible shit that I’ve done sometimes. And that’s everything.” 

“When everything is all over, what do you want to do?” When everything was over? What would she do? Rey never thought about that. This had practically been her whole life, and even then when she fantasized about this war being over she never imagined herself being part of the picture. She imagined that once the war was over, she would be found dead in so expensive loft in Seattle, either by overdose or by assassination or by both, and Ben would be with his family and he’d forget her sooner or later. 

“I’ve never really thought about it.” She admitted. She didn’t tell Ben everything else. She didn’t want to and he didn’t need to hear it right now. “But I’m thinking maybe we could go someplace quiet, get a house in the woods or something and just, live there without the distraction of anything else. No one else to deal with and we can just be normal.” Ben smiled. It was obvious that he liked that. 

“We could get a dog.” He said. 

“Yes, a dog would be nice.” 

“The thing is I can’t imagine you out in the woods without technology.” Rey snorted at that. 

“Rude. I can rough it if I have to,” 

“I know you can.” He said. “You’re the strongest woman I know.” Rey stroked his cheek gently before kissing him. He looked like for a moment he could pretend that the kiss was the only thing that existed. There was no war, nothing to keep them apart from each other. Rey wished that she could do the same. 

“You’re the strongest person I know,” She told him. She kissed him back, and for a moment she was actually happy.


	24. sacrifice in the name of

There was something that Rey wasn’t telling Ben, he could sense it now. In a way, he thought that it might just be his paranoia,  and then Finn asked Ben if Rey had been acting weird lately. She had. Ben had gone through her things to see if she’d gone back to drugs but she didn’t have anything. Still, Rey was hyper focused on her computer in a way that he thought was intense, even for Rey. 

He wished that she would tell him what was going on, but he didn’t ask. Every time he was going to, she would ask him how he was doing, hold him, kiss him. Ben would get lost in her, like he always did, because being lost in her was better than being lost in the simulation and the nightmares that haunted him frequently. One night they were cuddling and Ben said, “I don’t know what would happen if I lost you.” Rey got really still for a second. 

“I think you would be sad for a while, but would move on.” Ben didn’t really know how to respond to that. The next day Rey told him that she was going out to gain control of another factory. 

“I’ll come too.” 

“No, you won’t.” 

“What?” 

“I’m not going to be the reason you’re captured again, okay? You’ll stay here and be in charge with Rose and Paige, can you do that for me? Please?” Ben nodded, and watched her leave. 

***

Snoke was done with everything, he didn’t care about laws or rules anymore, he wanted revenge for being bested by a nineteen year old girl, for her breaking his creation. So he knew how to get it, it would mean sacrificing his job, but he had the power in Congress to make it happen. He picked up the phone. 

“You called?” 

“I didn’t think you’d actually respond.” 

“After I saw your offer,” The girl on the other line said, “I couldn’t just leave it. I need to stress that  _ he is not part of the deal though. _ ”

“I only want you, you can be assured of that. Ren is damaged goods.”

“Make it happen, and then I can set the rest up.” 

***

“ _ Congress has the bill to consider androids and cyborgs a class of humans.”  _ The news anchor said, Rey closed her eyes. “ _ So far there has been a resounding case made, protestors of both sides stand outside the White House.”  _

“You okay?” Poe asked her. She nodded. 

“Just ready for this to be over.” And that was true, Rey was tired, so tired. She wasn’t quite sure that she was ready to do what she was about to do though. The factory was in on the border of New York, and the ride there was long and hard, but the longer it took, the more Rey could accept what was about to happen. 

She just hoped that Ben could accept it. 

He had Poe. 

He had Leia. 

He could do this. She walked into the factory knowing what was going to happen. The factory was filled with half made androids. Blank canvases of bodies that hadn’t had their skin put on yet. White dots prickling through the surface to signify thoughts. No one had shot yet. 

Rey was pretty sure that the others were catching on, because it was easy. Too easy. 

***

“The bill to legally count androids and cyborgs as human has passed, but what does this mean for the androids in the military; will they be given their freedom? Or will they be stuck in the same vicious cycle of torture that they have been for four years.” 

***

Something was really wrong, Ben knew it. He was watching Rey through Finn’s monitor and she seemed … off. 

* **

“Ah, the Creator is finally here.” Rey looked up to one of the metal bridges up above her head. There he was. Snoke. “I can see you didn’t bring Ren with you.” Everyone in the group raised their guns at him.

 

“Rey, what is he talking about?” Finn asked. Rey didn’t answer. 

 

“I’m not a dumbass.” She said. “The deal was me, and not Ben. But you’re a politician, I wasn’t going to take your word on it.” 

 

“Smart girl. But like I said, a deal’s a deal. The bill passed, any revisions are out of my hands now.” He started moving. The old man was decrepit and looked more like a creature than an actual human being. His face was flat and white and pale and his eyes were dead and dark like a shark. 

Another sudden movement. It wasn’t just from her group though. Androids in different stages of creation jerked in their pods, fists punching through glass in seconds, piling in front of the group. In front of Rey. Her eyes widened, staring at them. 

She wasn’t doing that. 

 

Apparently, neither was Snoke. 

 

They stood there, looking up at the older man. The factory was silent except the beeps and whirs of the machine. Rey wanted to cry, realizing what was happening. “Stand down.” She said. 

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Finn said. He tried to grab her, but she was too fast. She went up the stairs, up to the bridge. 

 

“Good.” He said. “Are you going to cooperate or do you need handcuffs?”

 

“I’m coming willingly.” She told him. “I just want to get this over with.” She could see Paige and Poe holding Finn back. Could see all the androids looking up at her.  _ You guys are free now.  _

 

Rey walked out of the factory with Snoke, and then had a bag put on her head. There was a sharp pain in her neck and then there was nothingness. 

 

***

Just like that, Rey was gone. 

 

Ben wasn’t even there to say goodbye.


	25. Missing Persons

For a minute, Ben didn’t know what to do. Nothing felt real. He couldn’t believe that he watched Rey willingly walk away with that monster. He couldn’t believe that Poe held Finn back and didn’t try to help him get to her. There were so many more androids that could’ve gotten to her, but none of them did, and that pissed him off. 

Then he snapped back to reality. “Someone track her.” 

“She doesn’t have anything that can be tracked.” 

“Not even the tracker in her glasses.” Rose held up Rey’s glasses and tossed them to Ben. “She gave you her glasses?”

“She left them in the dropoff area.”  _ Damn it, Rey.  _

“Can you track Snoke? Or the truck they’re in?” Rose turned to her computer and started typing away. He started to think about the behavior she had been displaying for the past few days, and the way that she had been around her computer. “Come to me with whatever you have. Alert everyone that Rey’s been kidnapped. Get it going on social media, anything you can.” 

“Okay,” She said. 

Ben went back to Rey’s room and went to her computer. Everything was wiped except for one video file. He clicked on the video file and saw Rey’s face pop up. She leaned back in her seat and smiled for a second before seemingly looking right into the camera. “I just want to say that the only person who should view this video is Ben.” She said. “Okay, now that I assume that it’s you viewing this I want to say that I’m sorry for what I’m about to do.” 

Ben bit his lip, he had to stop himself from getting emotional. “You’re sleeping right now. I think it’s the first peaceful times you’ve slept in a while.” She adjusted her glasses, “I was offered a deal by Snoke to give myself up in order to get legislation passed that would disband his branch of government and classify androids and cyborgs as human. I’ve decided to take this deal.” 

“Of course you did,” He muttered. 

“And I’m not stupid either, I know that if I take you anywhere near him he’s going to try and take you back and I’m not going to let that happen, okay?” Her voice cracked and she looked back over to the bedroom, “Sorry, I just… I can’t let you get hurt again, you’re too important to me. Please don’t look for me though, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

It was getting harder and harder to keep his emotions in check. He couldn’t turn them off either. “I think that it’s my time, anyway. There’s no more putting it off. I just want to say,” She said, “that you have made my life so much better in ways that I can never really fully thank you for. You have made me happier and you’ve kept me right and challenged me and I love you for that. I just love you, I love you so much.” She looked off into the distance. “And I want to consider this our goodbye. I love you.” The video ended. 

Ben sighed, trying to keep himself from crying. He just needed to think, he needed to think. Then he looked into the background information on the video. It was from four days ago. Then there was something else. It was a string of code that he recognized once. She had left schematics out for when she rebuilt Finn’s cataloguing and memory system. That code was there, and maybe, just maybe there would be something to help him save Rey. 

***

**_FINDREYOFFICIAL_ **

 

**** **_@findrey_ **

 

**** _ So much for freedom, the creator of androids has been taken by this man. (photo attached)  _

 

__ _ @ _ **_findrey_ **

 

**** _ The next thread will release all information that we have on Obadiah Snoke _

 

__ _ @ _ **_findrey_ **

 

**** _ Any government official that wishes to help find her please chime in. She’s only nineteen. A kid. Here’s the video of her last moments seen in public. (video attached)  _

 

**_Aaron Ackbar_ **

****

**** **_@a_ackbar_ ** **replying to** **_@findrey_ **

 

**** _ This is despicable and was not authorized to happen, the American people need to know that. What Obadiah Snoke is doing is outside of the law and evil in every sense of the word.  _

 

__ **_POTUS_Official_ **

 

**** _ The White House will be issue a formal statement tonight at 7:00 pm central time. For now I would like to state that the no American should stand for the torture of another human being, cyborg, or android. This man will be reprimanded. We plan on starting searches.  _

 

__ **_Infowars.com_ **

 

**** _ Is it really believable that the multibillionaire, Rey, has actually been kidnapped? Or is this just another ploy by the leftist communists to push forward their agenda? They legalized gay marriage, they legalized the rights of androids, what more do they need?  _

 

__ **_Ifellinlovewithanandroid.tumblr.com_ **

 

**** _ Guys if you’re not reblogging this post you’re heartless. We need to find Rey now! Who know what could be happening to her….  _

 

__ **_Breitbartmedia.com_ **

**** _ This is all a hoax. Don’t let the leftist jew media…  _

 

__ **_Find Rey Official Facebook_ **

 

**** _ We need to make you all aware that Rey was not the type of person who liked violence in the slightest, but she knew that it was necessary in order to do what she has done now and liberate us. Rey was the type of person who cared about her actions and thought about everything she did.  _

 

__ _ No, she was not perfect, but that doesn’t mean that she does not deserve of a chance at life. So please, if you have any information on her what so ever, please please DM us. We’re begging you, all the information you can give to help us find her will be for the better. Thank you,  _

 

__ _ Rose.  _

 

**_Foxnews.com_ **

 

**** _ BREAKING NEWS -- Evidence that Rey, the nineteen year old creator of androids, cybernetic limbs, and many other medicines was a junkie. Medical receipts, phone calls, and doctors notes found in the studio today…  _

 

__ **_Ifellinlovewithahuman.tumblr.com_ **

 

**** _ Okay, so the news that Rey had problems with pain killers after a severe car accident made her slip a disk in her back is making me sick to be honest. This girl was sixteen with no support group, what did you expect her to do? Go to therapy? She had no one to take her to therapy in the first place. This is disgusting. It’s pretty transparent that these people are just trying to defame her so that she seems like some sort of a disgusting human being. A lot of actors and actresses have been addicted to drugs at one point in their life, that does not make them a bad person. Honestly I thought tumblr was the ones with this “all problematic actions mean you need to choke and die” but for FUCKSAKE Fox News is right up there with this bullshit cancer.  _

 

__ ***

Rey’s vision was blurry. She didn’t have glasses on and she couldn’t see anyone. She heard voices though. “Are you sure you want to do this?” One of the voices said, “You’re being defamed on the internet as we speak. People know you have her. It’s only a matter of time before you’re found out.” 

“I don’t care about what the internet thinks,” Snoke said. “Transport her to the place.” He was using vague terms, probably in case she was awake. The back of her head hurt. “She is to get water only once every twenty four hours and do not give her anything to eat.” 

“Yes sir,” Another person said. “We do require payment for our services though.” 

“Of course,” Rustling. “There it is. Now transport her.” 

“Yes, sir.” She should’ve been scared. She wasn’t. She just knew that she was going to die in the end. 


	26. the fight isn't over

Ben knew that the last thing he should be doing was doing an interview on live television, but he was getting sick and tired of all the lies that were going on around social media about the government giving any help towards finding Rey whatsoever, because that was not the case in the slightest. 

It had been two weeks and each day Ben felt a little more helpless at the fact that he could not locate Rey. The interview went better than he expected, but he thought that the reason that might be was because the news anchors that interviewed him was scared of what he might do if she pissed him off. 

Ben noticed that he had been able to analyze people’s mannerisms more easily lately than usual, he wondered why. After he had made it abundantly clear that the government was not doing what they said they were going to, he handed over what he thought would be a good amount of evidence to prove that he was telling the truth.

After that, he left and went back to the base. Finn had told him that he was doing a good job, but he didn’t reply. 

He was too busy focusing on what needed to be done to find Rey. He felt like he was only zoning in on certain moments, incapable of really saving anything or wanting to save anything. His mother had been trying to catch his attention for days, trying to make him feel better about the situation. 

He felt sort of bad, he wasn’t really responsive and he knew that she was trying, she really was. But there was something happening that he really couldn’t explain. Ben had really never experienced heartbreak before, but he guessed that this was something akin to it.

He asked Rose if she had found anything when he walked in, she said no, like she usually did. He nodded, but didn’t say something, heading back to Rey’s room silently. He locked the door behind him and went back to her bed. 

There was still some lingering bit of her scent on the sheets, and Ben often found himself tangled in them before he spiralled, and cried. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to think. He just felt so lost on the inside. He wanted Rey back, he wondered if she felt this useless when he was gone, or if she was actually able to get things done. 

She was probably able to get things done, she was smarter than him, and just better than him in general. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I’m so sorry.” He wanted to find her so bad, but there was something that told him that he wouldn’t find her in time. And with each passing day there was less of a chance that she might be alive than the last. 

Ben accessed his memory files, in a last ditch effort to calm him down, he went back, way back. To when the both of them were in Rey’s house and he was pining for her and she didn’t know it. They were watching a movie and he just spent the whole time remembering everything about her face. The freckles that went across the bridge of her nose and the way the light reflected against her glasses. He wanted to see those dimples again, he wanted to see her smile. 

But he couldn’t, he knew he would spend the rest of his life waiting to see that smile again. 

***

Rey wished that it would just end at this point. She didn’t like this prolonged form of torture that was just used to sort of satisfy this sadism was gross at this point. The days just sort of blurred together and Rey wanted to tell whoever kept giving her injections into her arm.

She supposed it was supposed to signify a cycle, each time whatever fluid was injected into her that made her go to sleep and then wake up over and over again damaged her heart worse than the drugs she had taken before had damaged it. At one point she found herself screaming, “Just kill me at this point! I told you I would let you kill me so kill me already!”  

“Sorry,” Snoke’s voice said over a comm system. “Can’t do that. I haven’t quite got the outcome that I’m looking for yet. You’re still defiant and Ren hasn’t found out where you are yet. So you’re going to stay alive for now.”

“Two more injections and I go into cardiac arrest,” Sweat was dripping off of Rey’s brow, the room was just so goddamn hot. “So can you at least come up with a more creative way of torture that will keep me alive until Ben comes and kicks your elderly perverted ass?” 

“If you wish,” 

***

When Ben woke up, Rey’s computer was beeping. He didn’t know why, but he shot up, seeing a whole lot of things started to pop up on her screen, and it took Ben to realize what it was. Coordinates. Coordinates that possibly lead to Rey’s location. Then something started loading onto the computer. A video. It was a live feed of Rey. 

She couldn’t see the camera, but there was a light obviously shown on her. She was bloodied and she looked confused. “Fuck you!” She shouted. Ben started writing down coordinates to take to Rose. 

He had to deny the fact that there was this inexorable amount of joy that fueled him as he watched Rey. She was alive, she was hurt, but she was alive. Ben was going to find her. And then he heard it. There was a voice that was low, and rumbling, and a voice that Ben never wanted to hear again in his life. 

“Hello, Ren. It’s been a while since we spoke. I have to admit that I missed you,” Snoke’s voice sent chills down Ben’s back. He closed his eyes, trying to think of anything else but the old man, there was corrupted fragments of memories that were threatening to come up, but he forced them down, down, down, further into the broken void of things that would never truly be remembered. “This is your chance to come and get her.” 


	27. high pitch

Ben knew that he would be walking into a trap if he went to the coordinates that Snoke had asked him to go to. So he had Rose look them up for him. It didn’t take long for him to realize that the place of meeting Snoke had set up wasn’t capable of holding Rey, nor was it secure. So Rose went back through the data, in order to find the location that the coordinates and the video were sent from. It only took her a few minutes before she told Ben, “You’re not going to like this.”

“What?” Ben knew that anywhere Rey was being held, he wouldn’t like. 

“She’s across seas.” Of course she was. 

“Where?”

“Well the good news is that she isn’t in Herat.” Rose said. “The bad news is that she’s in Australia.” 

“How the fuck did she get to Australia without us knowing?” 

“I don’t know.” Rose answered, “She’s not an android, we can’t track her as fast as we tracked you when you went missing.” 

“Well what building is she being held in?”

“It used to be a foreign embassy but got abandoned in 2013, so it’s old. There seems to be some places where snipers could possibly hide out. So we would have to come from a side that they wouldn’t expect.” 

“Then let’s figure out how to do that.” 

***

Rey woke up screaming each day for the next few days. The first day, it was from the electricity shot through her in strong voltages. The second day, the nightmares that the very drug that she had been trying to keep herself from getting addicted to caused. They were so real, that sometimes Rey wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. 

Each night, Ben would come to her in her dreams. And in any other instance that would be good, she welcomed the sight of Ben at any of the moment. But some of the things he said in her dreams tugged at her and tore away her heart in ways that she couldn’t explain it. “Death is coming for you.” He’d tell her. “It is in front of you. It is coming for you. You will destroy yourself.” 

The thing that always had her wake up screaming was when he had Snoke’s voice. Rey wasn’t sure when the last time she had food was, she wasn’t sure if she cared. She was existing in this hellish dimension between living and dying and she wasn’t quite sure what was happening. 

Then she heard it. 

The explosion. Rey heard it before she felt it. There was a series of incredibly intense, burning, pops that came from outside of the room she was being stored in. Her guard turned and went out of the room to see what was going on outside. Rey looked down at the ziptie cuffs that she’d been given. This hadn’t been the first time she’d escaped from them, but this time seemed harder. Breaking her wrist was more painful than it had been before. She rose to her feet, taking a few hesitant steps forward before really remembering her walking patterns. 

Everything in her hurt. 

Rey reached the door, opening it slowly. She could hear gunfire outside, someone screamed, there were people shouting. She opened the door. Rey  didn’t look at what was happening in the hallway. She pressed herself up against a wall and waited for silence. When that happened she came around the corner. 

***

“Rey?” 

“Ben? Sorry, everything’s sort of blurry. I can’t see.” 

Ben cursed himself for not bringing her glasses. He didn’t think finding her was going to be as easy as it was. She was standing right in front of him when they were about to move forward. She blinked for a second, her eyes looked mirky and she was swaying like she was about to fall over. Ben caught her, handing his gun to Poe. “Rey, oh my god.” 

“You shouldn’t have come.” She told him. “I wanted to save you.” 

“I think you’ve done that enough.” Ben told her. “Come on, I’ll lead you.” 

“I’m so tired.” 

“I know. Come on. Let’s go back home,” Rey bit her lip, but let him lead her. Paige and Poe were in front, waiting patiently to see if there was anyone around the corner. “Can you do me a favor, Rey?” 

“What?” 

“Never do that to me again, please.” She didn’t say anything, only gripped his hand tighter. “Don’t leave me.” 

“I didn’t.” She said, “I was giving you a chance to leave. I’ll always be there with you though. That’s what memories are for.” Ben didn’t know how to respond to that, just focusing on the softness of her hand. That’s when it started. There was this low pitched, humming tone at first. It crept in slowly, with some familiarness that Ben couldn’t quite place his finger on. Then it got higher, and higher. Reverberating through his skull again and again. 

_ “You’re my prize.”  _ He couldn’t tell what was happening. He heard Rey scream, could see that Paige was looking a little disoriented as well.  _ “You will come to me.”  _ Ben felt like he was going to throw up. Things that he didn’t remember were finally starting to come to life in ways that he really didn’t want.  _ “You are a pet, nothing more, nothing less. You will obey.” _ Pain overrode his brain until he couldn’t see. All he could hear was that irritating sound. Then he felt Rey’s hands on his face. 

_ “You won’t impose.”  _

“Ben, wake up.” 

“ _ You’re safe here.” _

“We have to move, Ben. Wake up.” 

_ “I love you.”  _

“I love you, Ben. Come on.” The pain shorted out, and Ben opened his eyes again. Rey smiled. “Get up,” She told him. “We have to go now.” Ben nodded and got up. 

“What the fuck was that?” Poe asked. 

Ben was silent. “That was Snoke.” Rey said. “He has to be close by.”

“Good. I wanna kill that asshole.” 

“It won’t be that easy.” Paige said, “and if anyone should kill him, it should be Ben.”


End file.
